I’m going to be honest: I don’t know how to thrive. From the outside, my upbringing was white, middle-class suburbia. From the outside, my current life is the same: white, middle-class suburbia. But on the inside, it was chaos.
It still is.
I have been in survival mode all of my life. The chaos around me–messy house, messy car–feels normal. It’s what I know.
Either that, or I don’t care. Life has been about finding that one bright, shining place. A quantum of solace, if you will. This will make me feel good. That will make me feel normal. It never works.
My sleep is worse than ever, but I still get up, go to work, do what I have to.