Life is full of vicissitudes, vagaries, and chance. While I believe God is sovereign, I also believe that, as C.S. Lewis said, “Free will requires a kind of divine self-abdication.” This does not mean that God is not privy to what will happen, but rather that he purchased our freedom at such a high cost to himself that he often doesn’t step in to stop free acts of others from hurting what we would deem the innocent.
Bullets, and bats, are not transmogrified into harmless rubber. Child molesters are not afflicted with impotency. The world seems to be going straight to hell without so much as a by-your-leave.
Some would point to this, and say there is no God. And on the surface, it sure appears that way. The Bible has something to say about this; namely, that this world is under the evil one’s sway. That we don’t yet see everything under Christ’s feet.
Don’t get me wrong: I want to accept that, I want it to be enough, but I have questions aplenty.
Why did I lose a sibling to abortion?
Why were my dad, and his sisters, subjected to such an unhealthy, abusive upbringing?
Why do I have no relationship with him?
Why do I struggle making lasting friendships?
Why is being a husband, and dad, so hard for me?
Why, God, did you let xxxxx happen, and why didn’t I find out until I was an adult?
He never answers these questions, except to give selfsame answer he gave to Job:
“Where were you when I made the world, since you are so old?”
What can I say to that? Such is his severe mercy that I must cling to, and grope for, it everyday.
None other has the words of life.
How about you? What are your questions? What do you struggle with in this vale of tears?