Archives For frustration

Do You Need A Minion?

randomlychad  —  October 16, 2012 — 9 Comments

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Volunteers.

Interns.

Research Assistants.

Apprentices.

Personal Assistants.

Minions.

In the past couple of years–since Despicable Me released–the word minion has come back into vogue. If you’re overwrought, overworked, under slept without enough hours in the day, you need a minion.

Author working on a book? No time for research?

You need a minion.

Computer tech? Without enough time to install all those Windows updates?

You need a minion.

Busy mom? With too much on her plate?

You need a minion.

Have I got a deal for you!

Unlike Craigslist, home of the “re-homing” fee, I’m prepared to offer you a minion absolutely free of charge. Honest–there’s no catch. Think of it! A free minion to do your bidding.

You can concentrate on the work that’s important, while your new minion:

Watches your T.V.

Bunks out in front of it, playing Assassin’s Creed XXIII.

Empties your refrigerator of all the choicest foodstuffs.

Leaves socks, shoes, underwear around your house.

Hears your requests for assistance, responds in the affirmative, and does nothing.

Trips over own socks, shoes, and undergarments–because minion has forgotten leaving them here, there, and everywhere.

Minion also (obviously) refuses to:

Clean up after self.

Refrain from fighting with sibling.

Constantly challenges proper authority.

Won’t clean windows

Or pick up after pets.

Minion answers to the name “teenager.”

What I’m saying is: take my minion, please!*

Oh, wait… Do you already have a minion of your own?

*Entirely tongue-in-cheek, folks; I love my “minion,” and wouldn’t trade him in for anything. Just using satire to vent some (hopefully common) parental frustrations.

Post removed at the urging of Christians wiser than I. It seems I can’t win for losing lately. I suck.

>Today is a bad dayphoto © 2009 Paul Downey | more info (via: Wylio)

What are the biggest issues couples fight about? I thought they were: communication, sex, and money. Well, apparently you can toss car repairs in there, too. Who’dve thunk it?

If you read my blog on Tuesday this week, you would’ve seen my woeful tale of needing two pieces of window glass replaced in my car. Yeah, I know, first world problem. Anyway, today I heard from the husband of a couple we know that they got into a big knockdown, drag out fight about just that: car repairs. Specifically, the best way to go about getting said repairs done.

They’re great people, really–affable, easy to talk to, etc. But boy are they stubborn! Both have strong ideas about, well, life, the universe, and everything (thank-you, Douglas Adams!).

And when those ideas intersect, it’s like “Boom!” Supernova. One wants this, the other wants that, one wants the other to do it that way (was that a Backstreet Boys reference? Why yes, yes it was. Sue me). It’s hard to watch, or hear about, because I know they love each other.

But they hurt each other anyway, despite this deep love.

I imagine today, despite this love, that they don’t like each other very much. And I guess that’s just the way it is. Taking two people, with wicked flesh, out of a sinful society, and calling that “wedded bliss” has got to be one of the greatest jokes ever perpetrated on humankind. And not by God. If I had to guess, I would say that it was the other guy.

Because he delights in setting us up with false expectations, and then pulling the rug right out. And so often we just fall for it.

Who are we kidding anyway? Marriage takes work–lots of work.

At least that’s what I told my friend today. That it was okay if he and his wife didn’t like each other so much right now–as long as they remember how much in love they really are. And despite how they feel, their spouse is not the problem–the problem is the problem. Know what I mean?

Anyway, in this fallen world, some days are just like that.

Have you ever had a day like that? Where you and your spouse (or boy/girlfriend) just couldn’t seem to get along?