I once tried to write a post for TV Asylum, that safe place for the television-obsessed. Because I don’t, you know, actually watch a lot of TV, the piece felt very tentative to me. So I turned to one of the site’s proprietors, Knox McCoy, looking for affirmation.
Because that’s what all secure writers do, right? And received the hiss of static in reply. Instead of just, you know, concluding he was busy (which he is), I assumed he was ignoring me (which he wasn’t).
So, yes, you know where this is going: when we make assumptions, not having all the facts, we make faulty ASSessments of ourselves. And others. Or something.
In my insecurity, I pestered poor Knox via email, and iMessage. Because, for some reason, I wanted so desperately to be liked, rather than respected.
And I got neither in return. In fact, I surmise that Mr. McCoy doesn’t think of me much at all.
All because I listened to the voice of fear, let it feed my insecurity, and let that fester and grow into douchebaggery.
All that to say: I’m sorry, Knox McCoy. I hope you can forgive me. Perhaps we can work together someday.
Those of you who write/blog/etc, have you ever done the same?
PS In the end, I decided that writing about T.V. shows is not my forte, and turned my piece over to another blogger who has something to say (on the subject). I may never see my byline at TV Asylum, and that’s okay.