Despite yesterday’s post, and Jason Boyett’s latest book, I think the world will actually end this year.
Here’s why ten reasons why:
10) Whitney is still in production. I know, I know–it’s being moved to Wednesdays. But still: it’s in production.
9) As if that weren’t bad enough, there’s another G.I. Joe movie coming this year. The first one was so good? The world needed another one because?
8) Danielle Steel is still writing books. The only way for it to stop is, apparently, the world has to come to an end. Or something.
7) The OWN Channel. Or, the Hallmark Channel
6) A guy named for an amphibian is running for president. Insofar as marriage goes, he appears to have the manners of one, too.
5) Terra Nova is actually being considered for a second season. I mean, come on, the pitch had to have been–what: “Seaquest, with dinosaurs. Only in the past. On account of the dinosaurs.”
4) Joel Osteen still has his bully pulpit. Only he, like the Mormons he likes, is too gosh-darned nice and soft-spoken to be a bully. Am I right?
3) The Kardashians
2) The Jersey Shore, which despite the announced upcoming season–and movie–still has more seasons than Arrested Development.
And the number one reason the world is obviously ending this year:
1) Having a used bookstore turn down one’s Twilight books for trade credit. <--think
about that. (That it even became a thing speaks volumes about humanity). Hurry up, apocalypse, before Breaking Dawn, part Deaux is unleashed upon our multiplexes.
Bonus reason the world is obviously ending this year: my friend, Ricky Anderson, is not on Facebook. Can you believe it? Click here to rectify that.
How about you? Have you noticed any signs that the world is ending this year? Share away in the comments!
(PS: please pray for my daughter today: she had an outpatient procedure on her foot, an is in quite a lot of pain. Thanks!)