The last couple of years have been interesting ones to say the least. Amazing breakthroughs followed by agonizing defeats. One day, literally on the mountaintop; not long after, wallowing in my own hog slop.
I found freedom, got free, had liberty…
And turned it into license.
Because I was the enlightened one, had made the pilgrimage to the mountaintop. I knew better.
And I knew better.
For six months in 2012, I lived duplicitously. Without integrity. While nothing, as they say, happened, I nevertheless kept my wife out of the loop on something. And because I did so, things looked quite worse than they were.
I’ve done a lot of soul-searching since then, and have been to counseling. I’ve come to the conclusion that I had come to value success (and thought I had found a connection on that path) more than I did my own integrity. More than those close to me.
And that’s never the way to be.
Let’s face it: writing is like life; if an artist has no honesty, no integrity, what have they got, really? What have they got to say? What contribution can they make? Anything would ring hollow.
They certainly wouldn’t be anyone worth the follow.
The point I’m trying to make, what I’m trying to so haltingly state, is that it’s never too late:
To start over.
Success begins by taking an honest look at ourselves, and our failures. For it is then–and only then–that something glorious occurs. In that light of introspection, and repentance, our failures, setbacks, coal-black before, begin to shine like diamonds. For it is then, in that light of honest assessment, that what was once failure now propels us forwards.
We “fall forward” when we both acknowledge, and learn, from what has gone before. The only definition of success that matters is that it begins, and ends, in integrity.
How are you falling forward today?