You know Joel Osteen–perpetually happy pastor of Lakewood Church in Houston. He’s known for his sunny disposition, and his softball theology.
Sunnier even than his disposition is his smile. I mean his pearly whites shine.
How bright is Joel’s smile?
It shines so bright that:
John McClane could have used it to guide planes to safety in Die Hard 2.
Sam could have used it against Shelob.
It has its own astrological designation–Alpha Joeltauri.
George Hamilton is jealous. (He thought his were the best bicuspids now).
When the lights go out at Lakewood, they hang Joel like a disco ball from the ceiling.
In fact, his smile burns so bright that even Benny Hinn can’t blow it out.