Lemon Balm Tea?

randomlychad  —  June 14, 2012 — 11 Comments

Last week I was on vacation with my family. We went up to Sedona, in Arizona’s high country. Part of the time was indeed spent “vacating” all responsibility (well, most), other parts eating, and more than I care to admit spent searching.

For Lemon Balm tea.

I heard a coworker extolling its virtues as a calming concoction–one that promotes restful sleep. Now I know what you’re thinking–because I thought, too–lemon tea? Eww!

But that’s not strictly true. You see, Lemon Balm is not citrus at all, but an herb in the mint family. How it induces sleep I don’t know, but I’d much rather try it than Lunesta or Ambien–because it promised me 100% better sleep without the side effects*.

So my wife and I, we lit out into the day, minds at ease because her folks had our kids. We knew that night–finally, despite our hotel bed–we would get some good rest.

Our first stop? Breakfast!

And then on to the New Frontiers Natural Market. Where nary a leaf of pure, unadulterated Lemon Balm was to be found. Oh, they had a tea, to be sure–but Lemon Balm was far down the list; in fact, it was more St. John’s wort than anything else.

And if I’m paying $10 for a tea that’s supposed to help me sleep, I darn sure don’t want one that’s full of worts! And forget Longbottom Leaf, I want Lemon Balm, man!

Give it to me!

Alas, New Frontiers had none (or so I then thought). The friendly, helpful souls suggested that my wife and I visit the local florist.

“Florist” I asked, puzzled?

“Florist,” said she, “who also sells herbal tea.” So we loaded ourselves up in the car, thinking our quest was done.

That we could get out of the hot sun.

How wrong were we? You’ll see:

The “florist” was just that: a full-service flower shop, but also host to high teas. In amongst the flowers, one could sit–if one wished–sipping various and sundry teas, whilst noshing on absurdly small and over-priced desserts.

Surely, thought we, our just desserts were to be, and some Lemon Balm we would see?

It was not to be.

Oh, there were Chais, Red Rooboises, and others we’d never heard of, let alone seen.

But no soothing, calming leaf of Lemon Balm was to found. (We’d have better luck planting our own in the ground).

The proprietress, a friendly soul, suggested we visit the local health food store, for surely they would have what we sought.

So my wife and I–we left there, piled our tired bodies in the car, and drove a couple blocks up the street. Thinking “It’s a health good store. This is neat–surely they’ll have what we seek!”

But you know what? They didn’t–it couldn’t be bought, and this was strike three! No one had Lemon Balm tea!

Dejection apparent on our faces, the friendly tatted and pierced lady said she knew of a place–a Buddha’s Dream, LLC–that likely had this elixir of dreams.

That’s all it took–we were off to the races! You should’ve seen the smiles on our faces!

Relief was only ten miles away, in Oak Creek. Or so it seemed.

So? By now, you know where this story is going to go…

Was there lovely Lemon Balm at the end of our tea rainbow?

Alas, it was not be.

On the sunny side–exhausted, dejected, as we were–pinning our hopes on Lemon Balm–we avowed that our day shall not have been in vain, and bought $20 worth of fresh loose-leaf tea.

From a friendly Asian lady, who wished us well on our life’s journey.

Nearly seven hours after we’d begun, we had tea, but none of it Lemon Balm. Exhausted, frustrated, and simply spent, I don’t know whose idea it was, but again to New Frontiers we went.

Because we needed food for the following day’s breakfast. And adding insult to plain old mockery, what did I see?

Lemon Balm tea.

In the health food section. Which of course I hadn’t checked some six hours before.

Sure, we bought it–but wait, there’s more:

Confucius say: “Fleeting will your sleep be, should you at bedtime drink much tea. Unless my point you miss, there will alas be much piss.”

The point of this silly post–if it has one–is this: what have you pinned your hopes on that didn’t pan out at all the way you expected?

*somnambulism, sleep eating, & other “things.”




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Christ-follower, husband, dad, blogger, reader, writer, movie buff, introvert, desert-dweller, omnivore, gym rat. May, or may not, have a burgeoning collection of Darth Vader t-shirts. Can usually be found drinking protein shakes, playing with daughter, working out with his son, or hanging out with his wife. Makes a living playing with computers.Subscribe to RandomlyChad by Email

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