Muslims, Methodists, My Mom, & Me: Or The Care & Feeding of Unbelievers

randomlychad  —  August 15, 2011 — 3 Comments
'John Wesley' photo (c) 2011, Paul Lowry - license:

Dear Londoners, that sound you hear? That rumbling underground that sounds like a bore? It’s my mom’s fault.

John Wesley is spinning in his grave.

You see, what happened is that my son spent the night at his grandmother’s house–he and one of his cousins, and at some point, the topic of religion came up.

I guess my son asked my mom if she was a “Christian,” and she replied that both she, and he were “Protestants.”

Now mind you, this is the very same answer she gave me at that age (13ish) when I asked “What faith are we?” Which is funny (and not in the haha make you laugh way), because when I was growing up, we were so “Protestant” that we never even darkened the doors of a church! I guess we protested the whole thing.

Or something.

Anyway, somewhere in the course of the discussion, “Protestant” became “Methodist.” And at some point, the cousin asked “Are Muslims Christians?”

To which my mom replied “Yes, they are.” (Infidel! Off with her head!) 😉

Of course, my wife and I didn’t find out about this little chat until after the fact–when our son came home, and announced “Mom, grandma says Muslims are Christians. Is that right? I’m confused! And what’s a Methodist? Are we Methodist, or Protestant?” (Insert interesting discussion about denominations here. Or not. Ok, definitely not). 😉

To say we were a little chagrined is like saying Kate Gosselin was a “little pregnant” when she was carrying her sextuplets! We were swollen–pregnant, even–with great consternation!

This of course necessitated a phone call to clarify matters.

“Mom, did you say that Muslims are Christians?”

“No, I would never say that. You know that.”

“Well, … came home and said that you said they were.”

“Where did he get that idea?”

(Um, I’m gonna say from you).

“Let me put him on.”

“Grandma? Remember when … asked ‘Are Muslims Christians?’ You said they were. I’m confused.”

“I would never say that. Maybe I heard Methodists?”

“But that’s not what … asked. She asked if Muslims were Christians. [Aside, hand cupped over phone, “Grandma says she heard “Methodists”] Did you really hear ‘Methodists?'”

“Must be I did. Sorry for the misunderstanding.”

“That’s ok, grandma. Have a nice day. Bye.”

“Goodbye.” Click.

“Dad, I think grandma needs some hearing aids or something.”**

“Son, I think you’re right.”


Mr. Wesley, you can stop wrecking your casket now–it was all a misunderstanding. Please return to your repose.

And so it goes in my part of the world…

Thanks for reading!

Have you ever had a similar misunderstanding?

*Please note: I’m sure that the vast majority of Muslims are much like me in that they want to live in relative peace and raise their families in safety. But in no sense are practitioners of Islam Christians. Nor are Methodists Muslims. Just so you know. 😉

**Though I maybe thought I heard something kinda like this, I wasn’t sure; I’m assured now my son didn’t say this. And it could just be that I made up those last two lines of dialogue entirely (out of whole cloth) for comic effect. Just sayin’. 😉 (Ok, I lied).




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Christ-follower, husband, dad, blogger, reader, writer, movie buff, introvert, desert-dweller, omnivore, gym rat. May, or may not, have a burgeoning collection of Darth Vader t-shirts. Can usually be found drinking protein shakes, playing with daughter, working out with his son, or hanging out with his wife. Makes a living playing with computers.Subscribe to RandomlyChad by Email

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