Jon Acuff has “Serious Wednesday,”
Bryan Allain “Cliche Thursday,”
and FlowerDust (Anne Jackson), recently posted “Enough Random Bullets to Kill a Person.”
So I said to myself “Self, your blog is very issue-driven, emotionally intense, and suffers from a dearth of humor. You need to do something about that.” So, lest you think I’m all serious all the time, today I aim to bring “teh funnay.” So without further ado, here is “Random Thursday:”
Amish Wool–hints of field sweat, tallow, & wet sheep.
Ox Tail–not the dinner item, slow-cooked for hours, but the actual tail flavoring your morning brew. Use it as a stir-stick.
“Didactic Bite”–nothing says “good morning” like warm bovine urine filtered through a teen boy’s dirty gym sock
Fresh Step Plus–instead of a filter, your coffee is passed through your kitty’s litter. Much bolder than Civet Cat coffee!
Dung Beetle Blend–’nuff said, but kinda crunchy
Black Widow’s Brew—make sure your affairs are in order, ’cause this one’s drink and die.
Drano Delight—coffee so strong it’ll clean out your pipes—and keep ’em clean for a year
Grand Funk Railroad—all the sights, sounds, and smells of New York’s busy subway system in your cup
Methane Madness—like lighting your farts on fire, but in your mouth. This is seriously hot coffee!
There you have it, folks—Seattle’s Worst. Please add yours in the comments.
“While I understand the innate need for acceptance we all share, it seems that one of the great dangers in trying to be relevant is that the Gospel can–not does, but can–be lost somewhere in the shuffle. Lest we forget: it is an inherently counter-cultural message. Here’s a thought: what if we entrusted our reputations to God? Radical notion, I know. Having said all that, I still love Donald Miller. 😉 I’d also like your readers, Jeff, to join me in praying for the death of skinny jeans.”
It’s that last line that I’d like to highlight; can you fine folks please join me in praying for the swift demise of skinny jeans for guys? (You girls can keep ’em–but don’t tell my wife I just wrote that!). ‘Cause, you know, I’ve never seen a guy look good trying to rock the skinny jeans. I’m thinking, like, dude, why do you shop in young misses? And you think camel toe is bad? Then you know what I mean when I say there’s just no room there for the “boys.” (Haven’t you ever wondered why all those worship leaders can hit such high notes?) Anyway, thanks so much for putting this on your prayer list!
To all you that follow Anne Jackson
, you know that she’s an intensely honest person; in fact, if the name wasn’t already taken by a dead holocaust victim, she should be known as Anne Frank–’cause she’s, well, frank. Blunt, even. Her books, events, blog posts, always prompt a reciprocal honesty. Case in point, reader Kevin Martineau
replied to her recent post with the following:
“Things I learned recently:
A new term – “cowboying”. This is what my 5 year daughter says she (when) sees our two dogs doing (it) to each other.”
To which I replied:
“My son used to call it “rodeo” when he’d spy our dogs doing what doggies do in that funky style they have. “Look, daddy, lick the butt, rodeo!”
“Oh, ahem, yes, er, son… That’s nice.” How do you explain that to your 3, 4, 5 year-old? “Well, son, you see when two dogs love each other…”
I share this today for two reasons:
- To have something to post 😉
- To show that I’m not all serious all the time. There are laughs along the road in this life’s journey. Even if it’s bumpy and things are hard: there are still some laughs to be had. So let’s accentuate the positive, ok?
God bless you, and thanks for reading!
PS Today on Twitter, @JesusNeedsNewPR (Matthew Paul Turner), lamented that “Loving thy neighbor becomes complicated when thy neighbor’s dog poops all over the common area.” I told him that “Forsooth, it soundeth like thou must needs construct a “poop trebuchet” for the flinging of the faeces.”
Have a truly blessed day!