Chad Jones is one of my BlogRocket buddies who i’ve known mostly as randomlychad (no relation to hangingchad) through Twitter and Words With Friends; where i beat him like Evander Holyfield on a bender. i’ve got a guest post over at his place, too. it’s a little different than my normal nonsense. you should probably read it…after you enjoy what Chad has for you.
“The Hypothetical Husband”
Fair warning ladies, this post is titled “The Hypothetical Husband” for a good reason; namely, this man may, or may not, actually exist. (And never mind the “Ideal Husband”–that man for sure exists nowhere other than in the mind. In other words, “love the one you’re with”). 😉
This theoretical man, this “hypothetical husband,” you know what he wants from you more than anything else? To be appreciated, to know that you know that he works hard. “Oh, sure,” you say, “but he doesn’t notice my hard work and sacrifice.”
Oh, but he does–have you asked him? He’s a guy–sometimes you’ve gotta draw him out. Besides which, since I’m going all Outer
Limits today–taking over the vertical, and the horizontal–I’m telling you this isn’t about your feelings right now, but your man’s. I’m declaring a moratorium on the expressing of your feelings (at least until the end of this post), because although he may not always show them*, your man has them*, too (so I want you to listen).
*Feelings, I mean.
Let me give you an example:
Let’s say, at your request, your man–our “hypothetical husband”–moves some furniture around in your home. Let’s say that, despite his best efforts, there are perhaps some nicks, gouges, scrapes, what have you, on the wall(s).
Pop quiz: what’s the first thing you say? (If you answer “tell him about the damage(s),” you’re wrong).
Here’s a little not-so-secret: most men are still little boys inside, and just want to be recognized when they work hard–especially when they do so at your behest.
So here’s how you approach our hypothetical situation:
First: thank him for his hard work. This shows appreciation, and respect. And then, second, voice your concerns. (“I really appreciate what you did, but I don’t know if you noticed xyz… But thank-you so much for…”).
Notice the format there: start on a positive–by appreciating–introduce a negative–your concerns–and end by
reaffirming the positive.
Maybe I’m violating a code by sharing this–if so, sorry guys–but we men are just as sensitive (perhaps more so) to inflection, intonation, etc. as you ladies. How something is said is just as important as what is said. Trust me on this.
If you follow the format outlined above, I can almost guarantee that your input will be more valued–thus you will feel more valued–and you will get the love you feel you deserve. In other words, win-win.
But then again, we’re talking about a “hypothetical husband” here, right? You’ve never castigated him on a job (mostly) well-done, right?
You have? Shame on you! Maybe you need to go back and re-read this post? 😉
Note: please don’t flame me–send all the negative emails to Sharideth, and only your kudos to me. My ego is sensitive that way.
ladies? what do you think?
guys? did Chad just sell you out or is he right?