Archives For the things kids say


(Note: I had something else in store today, but plans changed. For the better, I hope).

That’s my son in the photo above. Despite my use of the word “average” in the title, he’s anything but. Whip smart, he is–with a wit to match. He is in every sense, but one, his father’s son. (And truly I am well-pleased).

As I said, he’s possessed of a razor sharp wit, and a keen, analytical mind. His mother and I often have to work hard to keep up with his insightful leaps of logic.

What do I mean?

This morning, for instance, my wife asked him “Son, did you get new towels today? Why can’t you use the towels you had yesterday?”

[Something, something mumbled from the bathroom in reply].

So I chimed in: “Son, answer your mother? Why do you need two towels when you shower?”

“‘Cause I don’t want to get butt on my head.”

“Wait. What?”

“I don’t want to get butt on my head.”

By now, he’s finished in the bathroom, bedecked in two towels, on his way to his room.

“Son, how are you going to do that? You’ve showered–your butt is clean. Dry your head first. Then the rest of you. I’ve gone almost forty-three years now using only one towel. No, not the same one! You can do the same. It will save on laundry.”

“But, dad, what about tomorrow?” (Meaning: the towel is clean today, but if I use it–even drying my head first–it will have “butt” on it in the morning).

Indeed, son, what about tomorrow?

That right there–ladies and gentlemen, friends and neighbors–is the unassailable logic of an (above) average American teen. Or, rather, the inevitable clashing of teen, and parental, logic.

For my wife’s sake, I vow to win this towel “war.” 😉

How about you? If you have kids, what strange rituals do they have?