>photo © 2008 Melody Campbell | more info (via: Wylio)
This isn’t my dream. I fell into it somewhere along the way. Oh, I know how it happened, but it’s not what I always wanted to do. Not by a long shot. Fifty years from now, who’s going to remember “that time” I fixed their computer? I didn’t set out to be a tech, to be so enamored of gizmos, but that’s how it worked out. I imagine any number of things would’ve “worked out” had I gone in a different direction. But I didn’t.
So, yes, I’m good with computers. But my field is transitioning away from support into something else, and I fear I’ll be left behind, a relic of a bygone era. Yet, I’m not sure investing in further training would be the right thing for me, as–thankful as I am to have a well-paying job–it’s not what I see myself doing for the rest of my life. I’m struggling to find the significance in it. Yet, to remain has its appeal: a retirement package. And it finances the life I share with my family.
As Jon Acuff has so aptly said, I need to fall in like with a job I don’t love. But this is really a good place to be. There is great potential for meaningful interactions, potential to impact lives with the grace of God.
Maybe it’s a condition brought on by middle age, or perhaps even by the Lord, but I’m trying to find my place in the world. Trying, and floundering a bit. Sure, I have a platform with this blog, but my content is–as my name (“RandomlyChad”) suggests–somewhat random. I’ve been advised to find a focus, search out the posts that I’ve most enjoyed writing, and expend my efforts there. Or as Jackie Chan, as Mr. Han, said in The Karate Kid, “Your focus needs more focus.”
I’m not sure my mind works that way. What I lack in focus, I gain in freedom. I’m free to write about whatever I want. Now his may keep my readership small, but it may be a sacrifice worth making. And coupled with the fact that I do indeed have a day job, I’m not dependent on my writing for income. There’s freedom in that, too: I’m free to say what I want without fear of repercussion. As Acuff has also said, I’m free to “stay dangerous.” I’m not writing for anyone so much as me.
Sure, I’ve guest posted on other blogs, tailored my voice to another’s format, but it’s still my voice. (I’ve learned–the slow, hard way–that there’s no leveling up here: one has to put in the work to earn the trust). Interestingly, my reach seems to be growing organically. And you know what they say: slow and steady wins the race. As much this slowness used to bother me, I appreciate it now; as an introverted soul, it’s much better for me this way. I can adjust to the success as it comes.
Honestly, I’m not sure I’ll ever be a “Quitter” in the Acuffian sense, but I have a job that supports my art, and that art in turn brings some support to my life. It explains, illuminates, illustrates, that life. And I’m both blessed, and content, to be in that place.
Thank-you for reading!
What supports your art, and indeed, your life?