Archives For poo

I sometimes (often) marvel at God’s timing. If you, like me, are a theist (and indeed a Christian), then you likely believe that God is sovereign (in charge). Yet somehow, within the context of that sovereignty, he created us–creatures with free will. So today, of my own volition, I ventured out to CVS pharmacy to pick up some heating pads for a stiff neck. Well and good. On the way back, I was treated to sudden wet slap falling upon my right shoulder. This moist blat managed to splash on my right earlobe. For the briefest of moments, I thought it rain. It was not. It was the digestive leavings of an avian exiting its cloaca.

To be precise, it was pigeon poo (yuck!).

How did my little jaunt to CVS, and back, place me (so to speak) at the scene of the “crime” at that precise instant?

This avian accident necessitated a detour into Starbucks, where I cleaned off the alimentary outburst to the best of my ability. Leaving there, I proceeded back to work.

Which put me at the intersection near my office just in time for:

An older lady, decked out in a red jumpsuit, cane in hand, yelling at the top of her lungs, “You don’t get no p*ssy for letting me cross the street. You hear me? You don’t get no p*ssy for letting me cross. Maybe if I’s a younger skank, but you ain’t getting any.” This tirade seemed to be directed at no one other than the ether.

Here, again, it’s all about timing: if I hadn’t been so rudely detained by a roosting winged rat, I would have missed out on this colorful outburst.

What does it mean? What, if anything, is God trying to tell me?

As I said above, I believe He is sovereign–the superordinating power which runs the universe. That said, and in the words of C.S. Lewis, “free will almost requires a kind of divine self-abdication.” In other words, if lesson there is to be had here, it’s that:

1) God is good; and

2) Sh*t happens

Sometimes it flows from a cloaca; others, from the human mouth.

The Tao of Poo #fb

randomlychad  —  June 16, 2014 — 1 Comment

Maybe I’m odd, but sometimes I think about poop. As a young man, I used to silently laugh at all of the commercials touting the benefits of regularity.

Then I got older.

And realized it’s indeed painfully uncomfortable to be anything other than regular. Now even if fiber is the right thing to do (thanks, Wilford Brimley), this post isn’t really about the health benefits of a morning constitutional (or a high colonic, for that matter). Rather, it’s about those things which emanate from us naturally. Whether that be feces, urine, perspiration, toe cheese, what have you…

Harsh words, slander, backbiting, gossip, anger, bitterness, vengeanace… The list goes on.

There’s a theology to be found in contemplating out natural body processes. Indeed, the simple fact of the matter is that there are things which proceed forth from us quite naturally, and all of which stink. All bespeak of decay, of breakdown, of death. Of our very human condition. C.S. Lewis once wrote of there being a theology of dirty jokes, i.e., the very reason we are uncomfortable with what is very natural, and normal, is because somewhere, on an instinctual level, we realize we are more (as Yoda wisely said) than mere “crude matter.” Luminous beings are we, certainly; yet nevertheless mired in shit. Stained on the inside.

This is the Tao of Poo, natural theology:

Where everything that comes forth naturally from you, me, everybody, stinks to high heaven. This is as immutable as entropy–things wear out, and the center cannot hold…

But for Jesus.

He has come to give us new a life, a new nature, a new heart. This is not natural, but supernatural. It’s not something we can transact on our own. For “there is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end of the ways thereof is death.” Our ways end in death, “but thanks be to God through Jesus Christ Our Lord” who has given us life.

Life eternal, everlasting, neverending. Even so, these bodies will fail, and everyday remind us of their decay. Whether it’s a cut, hunger–or a trip to the restroom–there’s a theology there for all who have ears to hear, and eyes to see.