Archives For men

If you’re experiencing any of the following, you might be an aging male. I’m sorry.

1) In addition to having a mind of their own, your eyebrows appear to be the only part of your body rich in HGH (human growth hormone).

2) The foliage in your ears is denser than that of the Amazon rain forest.

3) In the choice between sleep and sex, you choose sleep every time.

4a) Nocturnal emissions no longer refers to, well, you know, but rather the number of times you have to get up to empty your bladder.

4b) It also refers to the amount of noxious gas emanating from your supine form during the night hours.

5) You have two sets of glutes; one where it belongs, in the seat of wisdom. And the other, well, it’s usually referred to as a “beer belly.” Even though you, at your doctor’s behest, have long since given up beer.

What signs and symptoms of aging have you observed in yourself?

A Word About Men

randomlychad  —  July 23, 2014 — 5 Comments

Men are people. People have feelings. As such, we have feelings, too. We are not out to get you. Just having a penis doesn’t make one:

Bad

The enemy

An abuser

A potential rapist

It’s not our fault that your childhood was tough, or that male figures in your past abused their positions of authority, or violated your trust.

It’s not fair to view us all through the crap-stained lens of your past.

Just as you do, we have our own struggles, our baggage, our own stories to contend with. If you prick us, we will bleed. If you try to shoehorn us into a role to accommodate your worldview, we’re not going to take it very well.

We, having feelings–minds, hearts, opinions–of our own probably won’t take it very well. We might get loud.

This is not abuse, or bullying: this is usually the cry of a hurting heart. Yes, we may be bigger than you, stronger than you, louder than you… this still doesn’t make us the big, scary, nasty man out to get you. It’s a sign of hurt, of pain, of confusion.

If you accuse us unfairly, we will get defensive. It’s human nature.

Being men doesn’t make us demons.

So stop demonizing us for for our gender, for your past abusive relationships.

And let us love you.

That’s what our strength is for.