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An Open Letter to My Dad

randomlychad  —  September 11, 2013 — 8 Comments

Dad,

After several years of not speaking, I emailed you asking some questions, trying to clear the air. After some weeks, you replied, indicating that (as always) you’d done nothing wrong, that you were the aggrieved party here.

Listen: I know I haven’t always done things right, but by God I was trying–in my own halting way–to open the door. Trying to get you to open up. Because all I know, all I’ve known for the last thirty years, is what mom says.

Her side of the story.

I don’t know what you were going through, why your marriage feel apart. You’ve never taken the time to help me see it through your eyes.

I know (or have heard) quite a lot about you. But I don’t know you.

Your likes, dislikes, what makes you tick, what gets you out of bed in the morning.

What are your passions? I don’t know.

Why did you follow your then girlfriend to Colorado when your sons were here, in Arizona? Why did we only see you one, or twice, a year?

I don’t know.

I don’t know.

I don’t know.

Because you won’t talk to me about anything of consequence.

What I do know is that:

I’m sick of the sarcasm

The disregard

The disrespect for me and my wife

I want to love you, but it can’t be solely on your terms. I’m a grown man, and I deserve an adult relationship with you. If you can’t give me one, then:

“The cat’s in the cradle, and the silver spoon,”
if I never see you again it’ll be too soon.

This, Regis, is my final answer.