Archives For anger

So.

It’s been quiet around here.

Well, it’s been a year. Heck, it’s been a couple of years. Life has a way of taking the wind out of your sails when you’re not looking.

Lots of things have happened; I turned 50. I’m parent to both a legal adult and a teenager. One whom I’m obliged to interact with in strictly an advisory capacity. And the other of whom wishes that were so.

I’ll leave you to figure out which is which (though the teen is oftentimes the more mature of the two).

In all seriousness, it’s been a journey of endeavoring to find a path forwards when my waistline isn’t the only thing in my life to go all pear-shaped.

Things have happened. Heavy things. Things I’m not sure I’m even ready to process yet. I mean how can I when my health is not great, my wife’s health is even worse than mine, and work is demanding more and more everyday…

Infirmity has a way of contracting one’s world till it seems as small as Hamlet’s nutshell. I don’t know about you, but I don’t have the bandwidth (or the energy) to even begin to muster any outrage over the political climate in the U.S. (for instance). Life is more an unremitting treadmill of exhaustion and obligation.

It’s not that it’s a bad life, per se; I live in the wealthiest county in the world. I have a good family, a nice house… It’s just the weariness. The bone weariness. Nobody told me that one of life’s cruel jokes is that it demands more and more while taking health, energy, vitality at an ever-increasing rate as the years roll by.

Life seemingly takes more and more without truly giving anything back. It’s oftentime dry as sawdust, tedious… Repetitious. And I can’t fall apart; I’m the (as the saying goes) sole breadwinner for my family. It’s on my shoulders. It’s not that fun robbing Peter to pay Paul, keeping the bills paid, keeping a roof over our heads when more and more seems to be going out the door every day. Again, I’m not so much complaining as stating a fact (I know I live the most prosperous nation in the world, that I live what many would term a comfortable, middle class life; I get it). I guess it’s just getting harder and harder to get by on one income these days. Listen; I want to hustle, to bring home more green. I just don’t know how with: sleep apnea, thyroid disease, and my wife’s health challenges that take so much time and energy to address. I’m doing good to get up and go to the job I have… Seriously, I don’t measure my coffee in cups anymore; it’s pints. It’s either amazing, or distressing, how much caffeine I can imbibe in a given day and still be absolutely dragging myself in the door when I get home…

One day bleeds into the next, into the next, into the next. It’s hard to muster the energy to be excited about much of anything when I’m wondering what I’ll need to do to get some sleep. How much Melatonin will work for me? How about Valerian Root? Chamomille tea? I’m bone weary just sitting here typing this out.

Have you been there?

How did you break out of your rut?

Have you ever felt like the walking dead?

Angry

randomlychad  —  November 13, 2014 — 2 Comments

I’m angry.

I’m angry because, and I hate to even write about this, media whores like Kim Kardashian (who is famous, please remember, because of a sex tape) garner all kinds of attention from intentional overexposure. Please understand: I’m angry–not jealous. I don’t care if I’m ever famous, or known. In fact, I’d rather not be.

Because there’s safety in obscurity. I can say what I like, and have no fear of reproach or recrimination.

I’m not angry for me; rather, I’m angry for friends who have blogs–have platforms and messages–that are worth paying attention to. I’m angry that they’re not getting the acclaim they rightly deserve. I’m angry that all it takes to be famous is flashing one’s derriere. Who does that help? My friend, Chris Morris, has a blog dedicated to disseminating information by, about, and for those suffering from chronic illnesses. He’s trying to make a difference in people’s lives.

Kim KardASSian however is merely trying to pad her bottom line. To keep her fifteen minutes going.

Where’s the justice in that? Where’s the fairness?

WHAT A WORLD WE LIVE IN, folks! The other side of the coin is, of course, how we, the consuming public, lap up the lascivious lives of the rich and famous. The reason this dreck keeps getting out out there is because we keep sucking on its teat, crying for More! MORE!

I don’t know about you, but I want to live in a world where people couldn’t care any less about Kim Kardashian’s ASSets. Where teachers get paid more than athletes (who, they are quick to tell us, aren’t role models at all). Where there is no celebrity, and actors get paid what everyone else does–because they’re just doing a job.

I want to live in a world where we stop venerating the wrong heroes.

Who’s with me?

An Angry Prison

randomlychad  —  May 22, 2013 — 11 Comments

Anger

Today’s post is another in our ongoing series about anger. I’m thrilled to be hosting Chris Morris (see his bio at the end of the post).

An Angry Prison

I called my pastor for the same reason most people call their pastor—my life was falling apart, and I didn’t know what to do. My daughter’s health had taken a definite turn for the worse. She has always had seizures, but they were increasing at a staggering rate, so that she’d had more in the previous week than her entire young life. Add to this, her neurologist didn’t believe I was telling the truth.

So I scheduled a sit-down with my pastor, to get some practical guidance…since I am a hothead and don’t always handle tense situations the best. I am not sure exactly what I expected, but nothing prepared me for what he said. He essentially told me my own sin was opening the door for the Devil to give my daughter seizures. I needed to repent if I hoped to see my daughter healed.

I did not repent of anything that day, though in retrospect I should have, because I was angry. My daughter’s seizures were not then and are not now my fault. I don’t have a secret sin that opens a mystical pathway for terror to enter my family’s life.

Continue Reading…

Today’s post is another in the ongoing series on anger, and comes to us from Larry Carter. Larry is a husband, dad, Christ follower from Tennessee. Larry’s blog is Deuceology–Deuce being his nickname (his dad, Larry is “Ace”), and “ology” representing “theology.” Thus over there you can read Larry’s take on life, faith, and a few other things. You can also follow him on Twitter @LarrytheDeuce.

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'anger' photo (c) 2009, anyone123 - license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/

He shook my hand, asking if I would still come to the meeting the next night? I watched him walk off my deck to his truck in stunned silence. I was slackjawed, and in a state of shock rarely experienced in my life.

I walked into the house. Jan asked me what was wrong. I think she could tell from the look on my face that something happened, something which had not had a positive effect on me. I looked at her and kind of laughed. Then I told her what happened.

I had been fired.

No, not from my job. Nothing like that. No, I had been fired from teaching Sunday School. Suddenly the weight of poor decisions and casual conversations came home to roost.

I was angry. Angrier, perhaps, than I had ever been in my life. Not the kind of anger that exploded and then subsides as quickly as it erupted. This anger was trickier than that. This one started out the size of a kernel and grew into a monstrous thing that would engulf me for months to come.

Why?

Why was I angry?

I had done it, in part, to myself.

Everyone had pretended there was no problem until it came time to kick me to the curb.

No one sat down to talk to me about it.

No attempt at anything approaching Biblical discipline was even made.

Nada. Nothing. I was just fired without any warning.
Continue Reading…

Today’s post is another in the ongoing series on anger. It comes to us from my friend, Tim Gallen. Tim, in his own words is:

“a writer, truth-seeker, and legend in his own mind. He loves good stories, good words, and good beer. He shares his random thoughts on life at his blog, The Daily Gallen. Follow him on Twitter @tim_gallen, or stalk him on Facebok. He won’t mind.

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Angry with myself

I’m a pretty easygoing guy. I tend to go with the flow and embrace the situation.
But, please, don’t misjudge my easygoing character.

I can get angry. Really angry.
I have screamed, howled, and cursed. I have thrown things, I have punched pillows and walls. I have embraced my anger.

But, for me these external manifestations are rare exceptions. Usually, I internalize my anger, keep it inside.

I get angry a lot, actually. I get angry at the idiots who don’t know how to drive. I get angry at the idiots in my neighborhood who don’t clean up after their dogs or who let their yards become so overgrown they look like untamed jungles.
Continue Reading…