This Time, It’ll Be Different

Nearly four years ago, the good readers of this (then more active) blog saw fit out of the kindness of their hearts to pay my way to a Ransomed Heart men’s boot camp. To say this Wild at Heart retreat was lifechanging is an understatement of the highest order. I was touched in ways I never thought possible. Then, when the trials–the attacks–came to say I wasn’t prepared would also be a gross understatement. The new liberty I found in Christ morphed into license, giving way to disillusionment.
 
 I said and did things I’m not proud of. I put my family through great turmoil. I’ll regret it forever.
 
 Recently, through the kindness of brothers at our current church, I found myself at a men’s retreat. The first in nearly four years.
 
 This time, it’s going to be different. And not not because I’m different. But rather because I’m surrounding myself with godly men, not trying to do this on my own, ala JohnWayneianity. I’m older, yes, perhaps more battle worn. If anything’s different it’s simply that I know I can’t do this on my own. I need to godly men to lift me up, to encourage, to kick my butt when needed.
 
 This time, it’s going to be different because I give up.
 
 Do you need to give up? Are you still trying to this Jesus thing on your own? Pride cometh before a fall, as the scriptures say. And trust me God is a much gentler task master than experience.
 
 That’s all I wanted to say.
 
 

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