You Might Be A Fundamentalist…

randomlychad  —  August 16, 2013 — 8 Comments

In keeping with my leitmotif, random, I bring you today’s post. You have Larry Carter to blame thank for it. I read his post when it hit my inbox last night, and it inspired me! (Go read Larry’s fine blog, and leave a comment or two).

'You might be a redneck if your bicycle has a gun rack' photo (c) 2008, Richard Masoner / Cyclelicious - license:

If you think Harry Potter is the devil, you might be a Fundamentalist.

If you call the NIV the “Not Included Version,” you might be a fundamentalist. (TNIV=”Today’s Not Included Version”).

If your church is like the Blues Brothers, and has both kinds–Southern and Baptist–you might be a Fundamentalist.

If you call your baptistry a “cement pond,” you might be a fundamentalist who watches too much Beverly Hillbillies.

If you decry the theology of the foot-washing Freewill Baptists as being “too liberal,” you might be a Fundamentalist who hates cleanliness. But you just know there’s something wrong about serving communion immediately following a foot washing.

If your choice of Bible is like Highlander (“There can be only one”), the KJV, you might be a Fundamentalist. And just like that fine movie, no worthy sequels to the KJV have ever been produced, either.

If you believe that the unseen movers and shakers behind Hollywood, Scientology, chemtrails, the Obama presidency, and Ke$ha’s inexplicable success go by the name “Illuminati,” you might be a Fundamentalist.

Remember: “a merry heart doeth good like a medicine.” (That’s from the KJV, yo). 😉 Thanks for reading!

What about you? Might you be a Fundamentalist? Drop it like it’s hot in the comments below:




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Christ-follower, husband, dad, blogger, reader, writer, movie buff, introvert, desert-dweller, omnivore, gym rat. May, or may not, have a burgeoning collection of Darth Vader t-shirts. Can usually be found drinking protein shakes, playing with daughter, working out with his son, or hanging out with his wife. Makes a living playing with computers. Subscribe to RandomlyChad by Email

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  • Chad, glad you could pick up and improve on my post, bro. You are awesome!!!

    • Nah, man--you inspired me is all. You made me laugh, and I just wanted to pay it forward, you know? Have a great weekend, Larry!

  • If your church has a plaque on the pulpit that says “If it ain’t King James, it ain’t Bible” you might be a fundamentalist.
    My dad saw this at a church one time. True story.

  • If you believe The Message is the shortened name, and the full name is The Message from the Devil, you might be a fundamentalist.

    If your church name has more than two of these words, you might be a fundamentalist: Independent, Bible, Baptist, Covenant

    • Spot on, Chris! Wanted to do something with the Message, but you nailed it!
      So what you’re saying is if a church’s name is, say,

      Foursquare Independent Bible Baptist Covenant Church there’s basically zero chance that it’s not fundamentalist?

      Gotcha. 🙂

  • La McCoy

    loved it