Up Late Again

randomlychad  —  June 12, 2013 — 24 Comments

I’m up late again. It’s almost one A.M. I looked at the work at before me, and my soul tied itself in knots. I’m scared. I know there’s something more in me than this blog. It feels like it wants to be born.

Like the gestating beasts (made famous in the Alien movies) known as “chest bursters,” it feels like something is clawing its way out of me.

And I’m afraid of it.

It’s taking the heart out of me on its way out of my body. So I try to lose myself in T.V., books, but it won’t be ignored. I can’t bargain with it, for, as Pascal said, “the heart has its reasons that reason knows not of.”

I’m in a time of transition now between what was and what will be. And as with most people, this change is scary.

You see: my friend, Jim Woods, has challenged me to take my best posts, the most helpful, most challenging ones, add in some new material, and generate an eBook.

And I’m afraid.

What if I fail?

What if I succeed?

What will the ramifications even be?

I don’t know.

So I sit at home, afraid to move, and just watch T.V.

I know I need to push past this resistance that’s lying to me.

God give me the grace, the strength, and all that I need to birth the dreams you have put into me.

Have you been there?

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randomlychad

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Christ-follower, husband, dad, blogger, reader, writer, movie buff, introvert, desert-dweller, omnivore, gym rat. May, or may not, have a burgeoning collection of Darth Vader t-shirts. Can usually be found drinking protein shakes, playing with daughter, working out with his son, or hanging out with his wife. Makes a living playing with computers.Subscribe to RandomlyChad by Email

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