It’s Late & I’m Tired/But God…

randomlychad  —  July 18, 2012 — 8 Comments

It’s late now, and I’m quite tired. I have been grabbing every spare moment I can to write. And it’s hard. Despite having just crossed the threshold of five hundred posts here (who knows how many word that is anyway?), this thing, this book idea, looms large in my mind.

In order to do it justice, I find I must step back into the misty past to find my forebears. Because I need to know the ones who shaped the ones who shaped me.

Yet so many are gone from this life, with only shadows left. Some I never knew. And some events are things which I’m told happened to me, but of which I have no memory.

I feel like I’m reconstructing the million little pieces of a life–of many lives, really. Such is obscured by the hazy lens of time…

And so much has gone by.

Why didn’t I do this sooner? When I (on the words of Billy Joel) “wore a younger man’s clothes?” When my brain wasn’t addled by apnea?

But now is the time I have, and my heart burns within me. I have a beginning, and some notion of the middle, but I’m not sure where it will end–because this is the story of a life, like shoes being broken in, still being lived in, walked through.

There will be blisters, and calluses. And some may be pained by what I say, but it will be the truth as best as I recollect it.

It just occurred to me that I do have a fitting end:

“But God…”

What about you, and your life? Who, or what, shaped you? Somehow, does it all come back, for you, as it does me, to: “but God?”

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randomlychad

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Christ-follower, husband, dad, blogger, reader, writer, movie buff, introvert, desert-dweller, omnivore, gym rat. May, or may not, have a burgeoning collection of Darth Vader t-shirts. Can usually be found drinking protein shakes, playing with daughter, working out with his son, or hanging out with his wife. Makes a living playing with computers. Subscribe to RandomlyChad by Email

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  • One of my favorite reminders is “But God.” You can do it, Chad. Remember Abraham, Moses; remember their God is your God, and you must complete your call here on earth.

  • It all comes down to that statement. I can’t forgive…but God. I can’t hold the staff up….but God. I can’t preach to thousands…but God. I can’t write…but God. Same God in it all.

    • Thanks, Larry! So true: “But God.”

  • Ricky Anderson

    We couldn’t have kids, but God…

    • Us, too, Ricky. Powerful little words, “But God.”

    • That just gave me chills, Ricky.

      • Ricky Anderson

        Still does that to me too, Jess.