50 Shades of Grace: A Kama Sutra for Evangelicals

randomlychad  —  July 19, 2012 — 11 Comments

image

In my mind I see it there at Barnes & Noble: 50 Shades of Grace: A Kama Sutra for Evangelicals. Now of course it’s not in the sexuality section, no, being published by Zondervan, it’s in “Christian Living.” Despite this, it’s flying off the shelves.

Because we all want to know: how did folks in the Bible , ahem, “do it?”

Despite containing such maxims (not the shrink-wrapped magazine) as “biblical sex is not a spectator sport,” (surely a warning against the dangers of pornography) it nevertheless has full-color illustrations in the style of the late Thomas Kinkade. All are of course gorgeously lit.

Because of this, LifeWay won’t carry it.

Among its other truths, is “biblical sex is mutually submissive (and not in a BDSM sense).” To support this assertion, the authors–a husband and wife team–turn to a passage in First Corinthians: “the wife’s body is not her own, but her husband’s; likewise, the husband’s body is not his own, but the wife’s.”

They further assert this is so by invoking the famous “Love Chapter” (First Corinthians 13), where it says “love does not seek its own.” Meaning, I surmise, that where biblical sex is concerned, there is no room for compulsion.

Because, apparently, love desires to give, and not take.

Now the late C.S. Lewis once wrote that “sex requires a kind of erotic submission” from the wife. I wonder however if he wrote this while yet firmly ensconced in bachelordom, or after marrying Helen Gresham? I strongly suspect the former, because as a married man myself, I know firsthand the sacrifices required in marriage, and how the bed–like no other–requires the giving up of one’s rights.

Because a thing compelled is no longer a gift, but something coerced.

And nothing could be further from the type of love that emanates from God: gift love. This kind of loves delights in the beloved, and thus desires to give. That is what I believe the authors mean when they say that “biblical sex is mutually submissive (not in a BDSM kind of way),” i.e., that a man and wife in love will try–in their frail, failing human ways–to outgive––to outlove––one another.

But that, as the Bible also says, is a mystery.

Are you planning on reading 50 Shades of Grace?

Update: March, 2013. Apparently 50 Shades of Grace is a thing: https://twitter.com/KeatonHughes/status/298586227324620800/photo/1

Comments

comments

randomlychad

Posts Twitter Facebook

Christ-follower, husband, dad, blogger, reader, writer, movie buff, introvert, desert-dweller, omnivore, gym rat. May, or may not, have a burgeoning collection of Darth Vader t-shirts. Can usually be found drinking protein shakes, playing with daughter, working out with his son, or hanging out with his wife. Makes a living playing with computers. Subscribe to RandomlyChad by Email

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 2,963 other subscribers

  • Nah….I don’t want to read about it…I’m more of a man of, uh, action.

  • Wow Chad..just wow. You’ve outdone yourself here. Sadly, I’d bet you are about 99.99% right on this. I think you should look into merchandising this. Maybe some Shades of Grace Bible covers? Would Lifeway sell those?

    • The Tshirts are obviously a given too.

    • Thanks, Jim! I’ve hugely mangled satire before, so I’m glad this connects.
      I’ll be applying for both the copyright, and the ISBN, later today. 😉

  • I wasn’t planning on it but the Kinkade-esque drawings have me intrigued.

    • He was the “painter of light.” So the illustrations should be bright.

  • I love the Thomas Kinkade reference. Excellent.

    • Thanks much! This one was fun to write.

      For a more serious look at the subject, check http://randomlychad.com for today’s post.

      Thanks for reading!