They Say Confession Is Good For the Soul, So…

randomlychad  —  June 28, 2012 — 27 Comments

'I'm Sorry' photo (c) 2011, Maroon Surreal - license: once tried to write a post for TV Asylum, that safe place for the television-obsessed. Because I don’t, you know, actually watch a lot of TV, the piece felt very tentative to me. So I turned to one of the site’s proprietors, Knox McCoy, looking for affirmation.

Because that’s what all secure writers do, right? And received the hiss of static in reply. Instead of just, you know, concluding he was busy (which he is), I assumed he was ignoring me (which he wasn’t).

So, yes, you know where this is going: when we make assumptions, not having all the facts, we make faulty ASSessments of ourselves. And others. Or something.

In my insecurity, I pestered poor Knox via email, and iMessage. Because, for some reason, I wanted so desperately to be liked, rather than respected.

And I got neither in return. In fact, I surmise that Mr. McCoy doesn’t think of me much at all.

All because I listened to the voice of fear, let it feed my insecurity, and let that fester and grow into douchebaggery.

All that to say: I’m sorry, Knox McCoy. I hope you can forgive me. Perhaps we can work together someday.

Those of you who write/blog/etc, have you ever done the same?

PS In the end, I decided that writing about T.V. shows is not my forte, and turned my piece over to another blogger who has something to say (on the subject). I may never see my byline at TV Asylum, and that’s okay.




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Christ-follower, husband, dad, blogger, reader, writer, movie buff, introvert, desert-dweller, omnivore, gym rat. May, or may not, have a burgeoning collection of Darth Vader t-shirts. Can usually be found drinking protein shakes, playing with daughter, working out with his son, or hanging out with his wife. Makes a living playing with computers.Subscribe to RandomlyChad by Email

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  • I do this all the time -- second guess my comments, worry someone took what I said and turned it around and twisted into something else, think I am being shut out when really people have so much going on that they let that return phone call/reply/text get overlooked, and I have to take a minute and remind myself that my neediness is my problem, not other people’s.

    • This: “my neediness is my problem, not other people’s.” Bingo! Such a downward spiral when we feed that demon.

  • I turned a piece into Jon Acuff recently. Haven’t heardrd. I assume he is off riding horses with Michael W. SMITH

    • I feel you, bro.

      Sometimes, we just gotta let it go.

    • True story: In one full year of following/being a fan of Jon Acuff, he has never once done any of the following: Responded to a tweet or a DM, Responded to a comment of mine on his blog, responded to an email of mine (I’ve sent several), given me a million dollars for no good reason.

      • He is my best friend. I met him in Knoxville last October.

        • Ha. Sweet. For some reason, he hates my guts.

    • Amy Grant once said “hi” to me. You want me to contact her about this?

      • That would be awesome. She will probably remember me singing Sing Your Praise To The Lord at a Rich mullins concert in 1992.

        • I think I was at that concert. Yes, you were memorable.

  • If it makes you feel any better, I submitted a few things to TVA and they weren’t interested. Would be lying if I said it didn’t hurt my feelings, but I still love Knox and TVA. And I love Chad Jones. And I love pizza. And movies about ogres. And chewing gum that tastes like desserts. And trailing off in the middle of my…

    • During the interminable wait, and subsequent to finally hearing back, I learned a valuable lesson: while I was approaching it as just another blog post, Knox & co. really do take their TV quite seriously. So much that, like I said above, I decided that maybe I wasn’t the man for the job, and thus passed it on.

      The bigger picture for me is that there is no “just” anything--I’ve got to approach this like a pro.

  • Ricky Anderson

    I write my own rejection letters to save everyone else time.

    • Classic, and classy, Ricky! 😉

  • This is RIGHT on the money. I MIGHT have done the same thing. Maybe. Yeah, that could have happened. Maybe once or twice.

    • Isn’t it, though?

      You stretch yourself, put yourself out there, get some strong initial interest, and then… nothing.

      Feeling ignored, I let myself get sucked right down into that vortex, where I:


      And basically made a nuisance of myself.


      • You know what happened with me? I thought the SAME THINGS you thought. Oh man, he doesn’t like me. Oh he’s intentionally ignoring me! Oh my he hated my work so much he deleted it in record time! The truth is, you just were one of many, many, many emails received. It takes time and patience (which both are soooooooooooooooo hard to have) to cut through the mix.

        • Oh, for sure. Lots of time, right?

  • Been there. Waiting on so.r responses as well. But, you can’t let it get to you. One blog post with this or that person is rarely going to make or break you. Keep writing!

    • I hear you. I know--I’m learning. In fact, I look at this as a learning experience.

  • Wait a minute… You mean TV Asylum is about television, not about Transylvanian Mental Health facilities? THAT explains why they keep rejecting my guest posts on Vampire Behavioral Health topics (like my favorite, “Why vampires think Sigmund Freud Sucks”)
    Thanks for clearing that up!
    Oh, and don’t get me started on that guy Kevin Haggerty…he doesn’t hang out here does he?

    • Yeah--it’s all about TV. Who knew?

      And KEVIN WHO?

      j/k--love ya, Kevin!

  • One quick follow up question: When I look at the comments, it says “MOD” next to my name and to yours. Does that mean that we are both totally “mod” as in Mod Squad?
    If so, I want to be Linc. He was cool.
    Please tell me you’re old enough to know what I’m talking about.

    • Wait, JT--you’re a moderator here?

      Not that I don’t trust you, rather that I don’t remember setting it up.

      • The MOD label went away. Your site is once again secure.