5 Ways Canada Is More Better by Michelle Woodman

randomlychad  —  June 4, 2012 — 16 Comments

Because my family and I are vacationing this week, I thought it would be good to open my blog up for some guest posts. As with most things in my life, I didn’t really plan this out in advance. In this case, at all. Michelle Woodman answered my desperate plea last minute call, and handily cranked out the following:

5 Ways Canada Is More Better Than America

Chad Jones is a bit of a pot-stirrer. Why else would he issue the following challenge on Twitter?

pot stirrer

Now generally I’m not much of a pot-stirrer. There are other people who have an innate ability for such things, and most everyone who knows me will tell you I am not in that category. Plus, as often happens when I’m put on the spot, I proceeded to draw a blank in terms of Canada’s awesomeness. Ask me in 24 hours and I’m sure I’ll have all kinds of wonderful reasons why Canada kicks the proverbial patootie of the United States. But as of right now?

Nada. Zip. Zilch.

Not helping the situation is seeing who else Chad issued his Twitter challenge to. These people are seriously funny. If you don’t believe me, check out their Twitter feeds and blogs. Now check out mine.

Point made, no?

But like a beaver knawing through a maple tree, I will not be deterred. So after much internet surfing and other acts of randomness, I have come up with the following list (make of it what you will):

Five Reasons Why Canada is Better Than the U.S.

1. Canada is officialy a bilingual country. Now as any high school graduate will tell you, taking high school French classes will not make you bilingual. But it will provide you with additional reading material in the morning as you persuse the ingredients list on the box of cereal.
2. Canada is hilarious. We produce comedians like Cuba produces cigars. And I’m not talking only about the comedians who have found fame and fortune south of the 49th parallel. Go to You Tube, type SCTV in the search field and pick a video. You’re welcome.
3. Canada celebrates Thanksgiving in October. This means we have plenty of time to get over our turkey hangovers (and get rid of the leftovers) before Christmas rolls around.
4. Canada is the birthplace of William Shatner. There are those who would say this is a dubious honour at best. But riddle me this: What would Spock have been without Captain Kirk? Just another green-blooded, know-it-all alien, that’s what. How boring.
5. Canada has more practical (and prettier) currency. Google may think Rome is the country of choice for pickpockets, but I dare say the United States is the unofficial pickpocket capital. With all that green, how can anyone tell how much money is in their wallet at a glance? In Canada, that’s not a problem. We will know in seconds if a brown $100 bill or a pink $50 bill is missing. It takes even less time if a pickpocket pilfers our loonies and toonies.

Michelle blogs regularly at This Time Around. She is (obviously) Canadian, works with children, and is wife to her awesome husband, Jeff. She is a blogging buddy I met through Bryan Allain’s Killer Tribes. Even though she may not think so, she’s a funny lady (though she has been known to watch Big Bang Theory on occasion). You can read more about Michelle here. Follow her on Twitter @crosscribe.

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randomlychad

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Christ-follower, husband, dad, blogger, reader, writer, movie buff, introvert, desert-dweller, omnivore, gym rat. May, or may not, have a burgeoning collection of Darth Vader t-shirts. Can usually be found drinking protein shakes, playing with daughter, working out with his son, or hanging out with his wife. Makes a living playing with computers. Subscribe to RandomlyChad by Email

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  • Michelle Woodman

    Is it bad I’m the first commenter? Pffft — too bad!

    Thanks for opening your blog home to me, Chad! I really appreciate it! (I’ll even overlook the Big Bang Theory comment because of it.)

    • You’re very welcome, Michelle! Happy to. Thanks for rising to the (very last minute) challenge!

      You rock, eh? 😉

      • Michelle Woodman

        Thanks, eh?

  • There are a couple things you seem to have forgotten.

    Hockey! Enough said.

    The Maple Leaf. Just by adding a small red leaf to something it makes it Canadian. How cool is that? We, those in the US, have to add our whole flag or it has to say US or United States. Whoever came up with the maple leaf is obviously a genius on the marketing field and should probably have his/her own holiday. Just the opinion of a humble admirer from your southern neighbor.

    I hadn’t thought about the benefit of an October Thanksgiving. That would be beneficial.

    And yes, multi-colored currency would be way better!

    • Michelle Woodman

      Oh, I forgot those on purpose. I was trying to stay away from the obvious awesomeness and dig a little bit deeper. 😉

      • Being Canadian, you probably should go away from the obvious. 🙂 Great post.

  • Ricky Anderson

    Five Iron Frenzy said it well:

    Welcome to Canada, it’s the Maple Leaf State.
    Canada, oh Canada it’s great!
    The people are nice and they speak French too.
    If you don’t like it, man, you sniff glue.
    The Great White North, their kilts are plaid,
    Hosers take off, it’s not half bad.

    I want to be where yaks can run free,
    Where Royal Mounties can arrest me.

    Let’s go to Canada, let’s leave today,
    Canada, oh, Canada, I Sil Vous Plait.

    They’ve got trees, and mooses, and sled dogs,
    Lots of lumber, and lumberjacks, and logs!
    We all think it’s kind of a drag,
    That you have to go there to get milk in a bag.
    They say “eh?” instead of “what?” or “duh?”
    That’s the mighty power of Canada.

    I want to be where lemmings run into the sea,
    Where the marmosets can attack me.

    Let’s go to Canada, let’s leave today,
    Canada, oh, Canada, I Sil Vous Plait.
    Let’s go to Canada, let’s leave today,
    Canada, oh, Canada, I Sil Vous Plait.

    Please, please, explain to me,
    How this all has come to be,
    We forgot to mention something here.
    Did we say that William Shatner is a native citizen?
    And Slurpees made from venison, That’s deer.

    Let’s go to Canada, let’s leave today,
    Canada, oh, Canada, I Sil Vous Plait.

  • There are going to be a decent amount of hurt feelings on Wednesday. 🙂

    • Michelle Woodman

      Bring it. 😉

      • I’m afraid I’m going to responsible for fomenting an international incident here. Then again, it’s Canada. 😉

    • This may have been a bad idea. We might be ushering in the breakdown of international relations. Then again, it’s Canada we’re talking aboot. 😉

  • Michelle Woodman

    Awesome! (But I have yet to come across a Slurpee made from venison.)

  • I liked the “proverbial patootie” line. Funny stuff, Michelle!

    • Michelle Woodman

      Thanks, Becky! I had toddled on over here to get the link for a post I’m working on for my blog, only to find I must apologize for having missed your comment. Sorry! And thank you for reading!

      • Do tell, Michelle--what are you working on?