I’m Not A Smart Man, or Why Beer’s Bad For Me

randomlychad  —  January 24, 2012 — 23 Comments

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I need to get something off my chest. I confess to you, brothers and sisters, that I love beer. I have since I was a wee little pony.

Yes, I was the under the taps at the company picnics.

Once, I even kicked back with a cold one in front of Sesame Street. When asked why, I replied “Dat whut daddy do.”

Except during my legalistic phase, when my faith was all about the could not/should nots, coming to Jesus didn’t change this love in my soul.

Except now that I’m older, and one would think wiser, having a beer with dinner means two things:

1) A delicious complement to my meal; and,
2) That I will be up sometime during the night to eliminate said brew.

With sleep apnea, and a recently developed sialorrhea (look that at up), making sleep dicey enough, you’d think I’d learn.

But no–I hold onto my creature comforts.

If, like the late Douglas Adams surmised, “42” (my current age) is the answer to the question of life, the universe, and everything, you’d think I’d have the smarts to let the beer go, right?

Alas, no–I’m not a smart man.

What few creature comforts I’ve left–good beer (which is not, as an extended family member keeps asking, “Bud Light?” No–and I never will), good books–and that’s about all.

Busy days, sleepless nights. Like Frodo, I feel there’s not much between me and the wheel of fire. I am being worn away.

I suppose that’s just how God wants it.

“I must decrease, He must increase.”

But first, can I have a beer?

How about you, how’s God smoothing your rough spots?

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randomlychad

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Christ-follower, husband, dad, blogger, reader, writer, movie buff, introvert, desert-dweller, omnivore, gym rat. May, or may not, have a burgeoning collection of Darth Vader t-shirts. Can usually be found drinking protein shakes, playing with daughter, working out with his son, or hanging out with his wife. Makes a living playing with computers. Subscribe to RandomlyChad by Email

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  • He keeps on trying my wills. Unexpected open-heart surgery (40 yo) taught me I’m not invincible, having it in South America taught me I at least mildly arrogant. My wife getting hit by a truck taught me I hung too much of my walk on surroundings and not HIM. Getting hit by a bus in my car this week taught me I don’t trust Him like I should. I guess I’ll be working and walking till I die .

    • Hey, there! Welcome Rambling Barba!

      Sounds like He’s been at work in your life. The takeaway, I suppose, is recognizing the teachable moments when they come. And then having the humility to be taught.

      Sounds like you do.

      And I think we’ll all be “working and walking” til we die (“work out your own salvation with fear and trembling”).

  • I have many rough spots too -- we all do. LOVE my coffee -- and we in Seattle are hopeless Starbucks SNOBS. It’s not good to drink so much coffee -- but it’s a comfort, like you said.

    • Indeed it is. And like my beer, I measure coffee in pints. 🙂

  • Ricky Anderson

    I like a beer too.

    Your secret’s safe with me, Chad. And the rest of the Internet.

  • I haven’t found God yet.. but I am sure that he would want us to have a cold one. Cheers, my friend.

    • Thanks much! Keep looking!

  • Do you know the chorus “As a matter of fact, I like beer…. it makes me a jolly good fellow….” etc.?

    I love beer too, but alas, I wasn’t one for stopping after one with dinner, a habit I also learned from my dad. (Actually, my dad had beer FOR dinner on many nights.) I felt God calling me to lay the good brew down for a while, not out of a legalistic reason, but because he had better plans and beer was apt to make me stray off course. What started out as “I’ll quit until after my exams in three months… maybe I’ll go a year…” has turned into 22 years now.

    And I still feel like having a beer now and then…. And I certainly won’t judge you or anyone else for having one. God has called me specifically not to drink for this period which will end…. who knows when.

    Now chocolate or ice cream before bed, I have to be careful — I wake up with a bad sinus headache in the morning. Sometimes I just count the cost — I eat the ice cream and take two tylenol before hitting the sack.

    • If you don’t know that song, my favorite part is the verse where he says:

      “I dreamed I died and went to heaven,
      and everything there was so fine!
      The water was clear… and it tasted like beer!
      and then this guy turned it to wine!?!?! Awwwww……”

    • Totally understand, Dan. For me it’s different, I guess--I like the taste. That, and even with just one, I go like a race horse. 🙂

      Never heard that song. Sounds like fun!

  • I’ve recently had to give up caffeine because I realized the negative effects it was having on me. I was drinking four 2-liter bottles of diet soda a week. Crazy, right? I think I’ll eventually let myself have it again, but in moderation. Do you think they have support groups for people trying to kick diet soda? 🙂

    • If they do, I don’t wanna know about it. 😉 I’m currently imbibing two pints of coffee in the morning, and anywhere from 24-32 ozs of diet soda in the afternoons.

      Maybe, like you, I need to rethink that…

    • If they do, I don’t wanna know about it. 😉 I’m currently imbibing two pints of coffee in the morning, and anywhere from 24-32 ozs of diet soda in the afternoons.

      Maybe, like you, I need to rethink that…

      • I can tell you, I’ve felt a lot better. I’ve had a rough month. I felt fat, lacking in energy and a little depressed. As a teacher, basketball coach and writer, I essentially have three jobs. Throw in the fact that I’m a new homeowner and husband to a pregnant wife — you get the picture.

        Inspired by the movie “Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead,” I tried a juice fast. For a plethora of reasons, this did not work for me. In fact, it made me so sick I felt like I was going to die.

        I moved for moderation. I’ve worked hard to cut out fried foods and snacks that are unhealthy. I eat a lot more fruit. I only drink water and have cut out caffeine altogether. I still don’t exercise, because frankly, I won’t have time (or energy) until basketball season is over. But I do feel a lot better.

        I’ll tell ya though, I do miss some Diet Dew and Coke Zero!!

        • Kevin, whoa!

          I know that “fat & sick” feeling. It sucks.

          I went extreme low carb last year & dropped nearly 40 lbs. but it didn’t cure my sleep apnea. So I still feel extremely fatigued…

          I would try getting off caffeine, but I’m afraid of two things:

          1) that my family won’t like me;
          2) that I would have to take vacation to do it

          And a juice fast? No thanks--not for me (though I wouldn’t mind the occasional trip to Jamba).

          Oh, and my questions? I need some entertainment this weekend. 😉

          • Thay are coming, sir. Been a super busy week. I had owed Knox McCoy a guest post for a while and finally got them to him today, so the schedule should be clear. 🙂

          • I hear you. I know the feeling. Looking forward to the awesome.

  • I’ve recently had to give up caffeine because I realized the negative effects it was having on me. I was drinking four 2-liter bottles of diet soda a week. Crazy, right? I think I’ll eventually let myself have it again, but in moderation. Do you think they have support groups for people trying to kick diet soda? 🙂

  • Great post! I love how you write. I find myself smiling the whole time I’m reading. 🙂