What Is “Ninja Duck?”

randomlychad  —  November 4, 2011 — 21 Comments

This past Sunday at church, my daughter, B-Dog, was given a rubber ducky unlike any I had ever seen before: “Ninja Duck.”

What is “Ninja Duck?” From
what I can ascertain, it’s (obviously) a small rubber toy. I mean that much is clear. With nun-chuks! Which is cool… but Ninja Duck, like the old song on Dr. Demento (“Dead Puppies”), just kind of lies around, inert. It doesn’t even squeak!

What kind of duck doesn’t even quack, or squeak?

Ninja Duck!

Clearly, as was the case with the iPhone 4’s “antennagate” last year, Ninja Duck represents a triumph of form of over function. Who cares if it drops calls when it touches human flesh–because, I mean look at it!–it’s dead sexy!

Likewise, Ninja Duck looks cool, but there’s not much you can do with it. And I gotta tell you, I’ve had quite the existential crisis this week regarding this dumb duck! What’s it for? What’s its purpose? What can I do with it?

Well, for one thing, I guess it’s a pretty good conversation starter.

“What’s that?”

“Ninja Duck.”


“Ninja Duck.”

“What’s a ‘Ninja Duck?’ What’s it do?”


“But what’s it do?”

“Tell you what: let me throw it at your face, and you tell me, ok?”

“Hey! You don’t have to get hostile. It was just a question.”


“I still don’t know what it does.”

“Shut up.”

And so it goes… At least in my head. I think this probably kills the evangelistic potential of Ninja Duck, right? WWJD? (Hint: He sure as heck wouldn’t hurl a Ninja Duck at someone’s head. “I love you.” Wham! “What the heck was that, Jesus?” “Ninja Duck! Booya!”).

How about you? Like the Klondike Bar, what would you do-oo-oo with a “Ninja Duck?”

(Here’s something I did:

20111104-142251.jpg I call it “Ninja Duck” goes nuts!)

A note on the text: this post was composed on my iPhone 4 (not 4s), and I tapped the “F” key at least thrice while trying to type the word “duck.”




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Christ-follower, husband, dad, blogger, reader, writer, movie buff, introvert, desert-dweller, omnivore, gym rat. May, or may not, have a burgeoning collection of Darth Vader t-shirts. Can usually be found drinking protein shakes, playing with daughter, working out with his son, or hanging out with his wife. Makes a living playing with computers.Subscribe to RandomlyChad by Email

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  • So FUNNY!!! The picture is HUGE on this page! We here on the West Coast are now the “West Coast Ninja’s” so I can identify at least a little bit 🙂 A group of us are actually getting together tomorrow at my house!

    • Thanks, Cindy!

      I think you, and the West Coast Ninjas, are probably a little more active than Ninja Duck. Just a hunch. 😉

      Yeah, I think I goofed when I uploaded the picture.

  • lol.

    • Thanks, Michael!

      And for anyone who doesn’t know: Michael is responsible for the design of this blog. If you need some design work, I can’t recommend him highly enough!

  • Michelle Woodman

    Awesome. I particularly loved this bit: “What the heck was that, Jesus?” “Ninja Duck! Booya!”

    • Thanks, Michelle! Glad you liked it. How are things in the great white North? 😉

      • Michelle Woodman

        Covered with a light skiff of snow and NaNoWriMo. :p I realize I’ve been neglecting the Killer Tribe forums — will try to catch up this weekend!

        How are things with you? How is your wife feeling? Better, I hope. 🙂

        • Sounds pretty! Don’t know that I’d want to be out in it, but snow can be very pretty!

          Oh, me, too--gotta catch up on the forums.

          Thank-you for asking!

          My wife is undergoing thrice-weekly physical therapy for the frozen shoulder, just had some abnormal moles excised, and has another procedure coming up on the 11th.

          Life isn’t slowing down, but I’m trying to be more grounded in Him.

          God bless!

          • Michelle Woodman

            If I remember this by tomorrow, I’m stealing it: “Life isn’t slowing down, but I’m trying to be more grounded in Him.”

            Just sayin’.

            And blessings to you and yours as well! ^_^

  • Anonymous

    Yay for ninja ducks! If I was cool enough to own one (can they really be owned?), I would probably have it battle a lego ninja… and I have no idea who would win.

    • Ninja Duck is pretty bad, man--but Legos are cooler. That would be an epic battle!

  • Ricky Anderson

    Mom said puppy’s days are through,
    She’s going to throw him in the stew,
    Dead puppies aren’t much fun.

    • That’s right! “Dead puppies, dead puppies are no fun”

    • No, they aren’t, are they? Not much fun at all. 😉

  • I would take various pictures of him and put him in his own calendar. And sell it on your blog.

    • There you go! My man! How many calendars can I count on you for?