I Am A Cad

randomlychad  —  November 13, 2011 — 11 Comments

I am a cad. A knave, a scoundrel, a scallywag.

Why do I say this?

Because I didn’t think things through, and posted what I thought was a satirical exposé of brutish behavior, I’ve deeply hurt my own wife.

(It was, as I can now see, well-nigh the nadir of insensitivity).

Which, at the time, was the furthest thing from my mind.

But the truth about me is that, at one time or another, over the course of twenty-one years, I have likely said most (if not all) of those things in that list to her. Yes, like just about every other married couple, we’ve gotten upset with one another, and said things. I’ve said things. Hurtful things.

So I can understand why, though it’s not at all what I had in mind in this instance, she would be so deeply shocked and offended.

And hurt.

It hurts me that something I wrote hurt her so deeply. What hurts worse is that, although she was recovering from surgery, I fought with her about it–insisting that it was satire. Instead of giving up my rights in a Christlike fashion, I fought for them. To my shame, I was proud of the creativity I thought I displayed.

The Scriptures say that pride comes before a fall, and in an ironic twist of the tale, I became the brutish oaf I thought I was lampooning.

And for that I am deeply, truly sorry.

I hurt her so deeply. I hope she can forgive me. Please pray that she does.

Why in this vale of tears do we so often hurt the ones we love?





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Christ-follower, husband, dad, blogger, reader, writer, movie buff, introvert, desert-dweller, omnivore, gym rat. May, or may not, have a burgeoning collection of Darth Vader t-shirts. Can usually be found drinking protein shakes, playing with daughter, working out with his son, or hanging out with his wife. Makes a living playing with computers.Subscribe to RandomlyChad by Email

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  • It takes a lot of courage to admit you’re wrong -- even if your heart was right and you were being creative -- love always prefers another -- great job, Chad!

    • Thank-you, Cindy! Means a lot.

    • sabrina

      You have no idea what is really going on. Behind doors lies the true story. So before we go complimenting a married man make sure we have our facts. Us women need to be careful rubbing certain men’s ego’s without knowing all the truth. This does not help the situation.

      • Sabrina, with all due respect, neither do you. Thanks for commenting!

      • I would also add that I’ve been very open here about my failures--and about my love for my wife. I’m sorry that you’ve had to live through some of the experiences you’ve had, but at some point you’ve got to stop letting that color all of your interactions with men.

  • Wow Chad! It must feel great to have another women pat u on the back and say great job! She doesn’t live w/ u and deal w/ all of this. You went to church this morning and told the kids to come and our son said no because he wanted to stay and and care for me and you said, “Your mother is fine, she doesn’t need any care!” you left me home. Oh and this morning you went out to get donuts and told me that’s what I was eating. My point here is that you are making yourself out to be the hero but the facts speaks for themselves.

  • If I said something like that it’s because, despite me trying to beg your forgiveness, you want to perpetuate this issue, and continue shaming me in a public way. Apparently, I can’t even apologize right in your eyes. I’m sorry this hurt you. We need to put this bed now.

  • Divadianamail

    What you said to your wife is certainly….forgivable, however forgetting what you said may take a lifetime. Although a saddened & painful heart shows no outer physical wounds, it still hurts just as much on the inside. But just like a broken bone needs time to heal…..so does the heart. Forgive yourself first for any wrong doing & ask God to open up the heart of the person you did wrong by and He will mend her heart for you’

  • Based on the comments already posted to this post, I’m thinking that it might be wise to work this out off-line. Chad, I’ll be praying for you and your wife.