Wednesday #Haterade: Why I Hate #Halloween

randomlychad  —  October 26, 2011 — 13 Comments

'halloween' photo (c) 2006, hanna horwarth - license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/

First, I’d like to thank you all for making My First Ever vLog such an unqualified success yesterday. That was dope, yo! There may indeed be more in the future.

Second, I know you’ve come here for the hate today. And in that regard, I aim to please. Or only let you down a little bit. We’ll see.

There’s something that’s been bugging me for sometime now, and although (at first) I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, as the temperatures cooled, and the jack-o’lanterns started to materialize, I knew what it was:

I hate Halloween. Folks, we’re not talking garden-variety hate here, but egregious fits of contemptuous loathing.

“Why?,” you ask. “It’s all in fun. Why do hate Halloween so?”

Let me count the ways:

Let’s say I had an awesome idea for a costume. Let’s say I wanted to hearken back to a classic–like The Godfather, for instance. And let’s say I also wanted to jazz it up, go contemporary, throw in a pop topical reference? Like, say, The Walking Dead? That way, I could be Sonny–after he was perforated like a human pincushion with a hail of bullets. That’s right: Sonny “The Zombie” Corleone.

Genius, right?

Only–it wouldn’t work.

Why not?

Because of my name.

Which is, of course, “Chad.” Nothing wrong with my name–or my costume. Until…

Until you decide to get, as Paul “The Good Greatsby” Johnson says, ironically untopical.

What do I mean? What do you think?

If you saw me so attired–as Sonny the zombie–would your first thought be “Oh, he’s dressed as Sonny Corleone?” No, no it wouldn’t. You’d likely think, and subsequently say:

“I get it–you’re a perforated “Chad.” Cool!”

“Grr,” I would mumble. “I’m Sonny “The Zombie” Corleone. You know, from The Godfather? After he got shot up like a human pincushion?”

“Huh?”

“Nevermind. Think I’ll go find a noose, and make myself a “hanging ‘Chad’.”

“Good luck with that.”

And that, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, that is why I hate Halloween. It will forever be “ironically untopical” for me.

That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

Why do you hate, or love, Halloween? Do you embrace it with aplomb, or see it as a chance to “be in the world, but not of it?” (Incidentally, last year I wrote about WWJD About Halloween?).

Looking forward to your comments.

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randomlychad

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Christ-follower, husband, dad, blogger, reader, writer, movie buff, introvert, desert-dweller, omnivore, gym rat. May, or may not, have a burgeoning collection of Darth Vader t-shirts. Can usually be found drinking protein shakes, playing with daughter, working out with his son, or hanging out with his wife. Makes a living playing with computers.Subscribe to RandomlyChad by Email

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