Wednesday #Haterade: Why I Hate #Halloween

randomlychad  —  October 26, 2011 — 13 Comments

'halloween' photo (c) 2006, hanna horwarth - license:

First, I’d like to thank you all for making My First Ever vLog such an unqualified success yesterday. That was dope, yo! There may indeed be more in the future.

Second, I know you’ve come here for the hate today. And in that regard, I aim to please. Or only let you down a little bit. We’ll see.

There’s something that’s been bugging me for sometime now, and although (at first) I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, as the temperatures cooled, and the jack-o’lanterns started to materialize, I knew what it was:

I hate Halloween. Folks, we’re not talking garden-variety hate here, but egregious fits of contemptuous loathing.

“Why?,” you ask. “It’s all in fun. Why do hate Halloween so?”

Let me count the ways:

Let’s say I had an awesome idea for a costume. Let’s say I wanted to hearken back to a classic–like The Godfather, for instance. And let’s say I also wanted to jazz it up, go contemporary, throw in a pop topical reference? Like, say, The Walking Dead? That way, I could be Sonny–after he was perforated like a human pincushion with a hail of bullets. That’s right: Sonny “The Zombie” Corleone.

Genius, right?

Only–it wouldn’t work.

Why not?

Because of my name.

Which is, of course, “Chad.” Nothing wrong with my name–or my costume. Until…

Until you decide to get, as Paul “The Good Greatsby” Johnson says, ironically untopical.

What do I mean? What do you think?

If you saw me so attired–as Sonny the zombie–would your first thought be “Oh, he’s dressed as Sonny Corleone?” No, no it wouldn’t. You’d likely think, and subsequently say:

“I get it–you’re a perforated “Chad.” Cool!”

“Grr,” I would mumble. “I’m Sonny “The Zombie” Corleone. You know, from The Godfather? After he got shot up like a human pincushion?”


“Nevermind. Think I’ll go find a noose, and make myself a “hanging ‘Chad’.”

“Good luck with that.”

And that, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, that is why I hate Halloween. It will forever be “ironically untopical” for me.

That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

Why do you hate, or love, Halloween? Do you embrace it with aplomb, or see it as a chance to “be in the world, but not of it?” (Incidentally, last year I wrote about WWJD About Halloween?).

Looking forward to your comments.




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Christ-follower, husband, dad, blogger, reader, writer, movie buff, introvert, desert-dweller, omnivore, gym rat. May, or may not, have a burgeoning collection of Darth Vader t-shirts. Can usually be found drinking protein shakes, playing with daughter, working out with his son, or hanging out with his wife. Makes a living playing with computers.

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  • I hate halloween.
    I was writing a reply but it got too long so I decided to just blog it.

    Enjoying your thought journey. (found you through JVWM)

    • Awesome! Thanks for dropping by! I’ll be checking out your post momentarily.

  • I don’t mind Halloween, but I am sad that it happens to coincide with an important day in the history of the protestant church, and normally Martin Luther gets very little press on Oct 31st.

    Maybe I should start dressing like good ole ML every year to draw attention to his rarely mentioned act of heroism that started the protestant church… Martin Luther isn’t ironic though, so maybe not 🙂

    • Reformation Day FTW!

      You totally should dress up like ML! Course people might confuse the word “theses” with something else, and much poo will be flung.


      Or something like that.

  • I am taking a bunch of the students I work with and going “reverse trick-or-treating.” We will dress up in costumes and go around in the dorms giving away candy. Why? Because it is weird.

    • TorConstantino

      Now that’s untopically ironic! Nice!

      • That sounds like a capital idea, Ben! It’s like BLJ confession booth of candy!

  • Halloween doesn’t bother me. What an opportunity to have children coming right to YOUR DOOR! As a Christian I don’t give the enemy ANY holidays -- not even this one. We always did the trick or treat thing as kids and let our own children do it too. It’s for the CANDY 🙂

    • Amen, Cindy! “Making the most of every opportunity.”

  • I was that overprotected kid who wasn’t allowed to trick-or-treat, so it’s hard for me to get excited about Halloween as an adult.

    I hate it because it makes my neighbors and coworkers weird and annoying.

    • Dude, I had such a permissive upbringing it’s not even funny!


      Can’t say as I get excited about Halloween, either, though. I like Cindy’s perspective, but we usually end up taking our kids to a “harvest festival.”

  • TorConstantino

    Hanging Chad is killer -- both figuratively and literally! Awesome.

    • Ha! Thanks! Think I’ll hang around the blogosphere awhile. 😉