Cat Turds, & the Other Stupid Things People Eat

randomlychad  —  September 29, 2011 — 10 Comments

People around the world eat some some funky junk; such as:

Civet Cat Coffee:


In addition to being obscenely expensive, it gets its name from the fact that the Civet Cat eats the raw coffee beans, and then alimentarily expels them on the jungle floor. People then pick through the “tootsie rolls” to find the beans–which–I hope–are sufficiently cleaned before being ground into coffee, and served to you!

(That extra “something-something” in your cup? Well, never mind that–pick it out, and drink up).

I fear if I had to pitch this brew to the world, I would fail epically:

“Civet Cat Coffee–because feline rectums aren’t just for making tootsie rolls anymore. They’re also for drinking!”

Now we move on from a murky brew to an animal that traverses the murky deep:

The shark–and specifically the shark as it’s eaten in Iceland.

Like Apple Computer, those fine, hardy, Nordic people “think different,” possess interesting tastes–and apparently cast iron stomachs.

What do I mean?

Well, those savvy Icelanders have a culinary delight known as Hákarl. What is Hákarl? Fermented shark. Yes, you read that right: fermented shark.


The sharks are caught, prepared, buried, and (literally) hung out to dry–for four to five months!

It is only after all this time that the “meat” is eaten. I’m told it has the consistency of a nice ripe cheese and all the flavor of ammonia!

Dear Icelanders: if something smells, and, tastes like ammonia, you don’t eat it!

Can you imagine the ad campaign for this one in the States?

“Hákarl! Not only is it what’s for dinner, it’s also the other, other, other, other, other, other, other white meat. And it not only cleans out your insides, but your bathrooms as well. Win-win!”

(I’m not even going to get into Súrsaðir hrútspungar–pickled ram’s testicles–well, just because).

So far, we’ve travelled–culinarily–from Indonesia to Iceland, covering coffee, and sharks. Time and space don’t permit me to go over:

Menudo–not just a former boy band featuring Ricky Martin, but also a “hearty” breakfast food made of stomach lining. Since cows have seven, which stomach is this stuff made from?

Liver “mush.” Often served with grape jelly. Nuff said. (You don’t want to know what’s in it).

Chitlins. A funny-sounding word for intestines. The secret to good chitlins? Boil the poo out of them.

That’s my list. What “culinary treasures” have you encountered? What noxious foods have you actually eaten? What’s on your verboten list?

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randomlychad

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Christ-follower, husband, dad, blogger, reader, writer, movie buff, introvert, desert-dweller, omnivore, gym rat. May, or may not, have a burgeoning collection of Darth Vader t-shirts. Can usually be found drinking protein shakes, playing with daughter, working out with his son, or hanging out with his wife. Makes a living playing with computers. Subscribe to RandomlyChad by Email

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  • I don’t eat noxious foods. And I don’t like it when you call me Ricky Martin.

    If you eat Rocky Mountain Oysters in chitlins, do you tell folks you had intesticles?

    • Ricky Martin. Happy? 😉

      I don't eat that junk; if I did I believe I wouldn't call it anything than indigestion!

  • Gag nasty. Those people need to go to the dr. cause there is something medically wrong with their tongue.

    • True dat! robshep. 😉

    • Now make a move in WWF already! 😉

  • I'm not an eater of exotic foods. I don't like most vegetables. So I don't really have anything to add. Except chicken finger without honey mustard is sinful.

    • That it is, my friend, that it is.

  • Last year on New Years Eve, I stood behind some carrying a bucket of chitlins. There is no way I cam put that in my mouth.

    • No chitlins have ever passed these lips--nor will they ever. (I have, however, tried chicken feet).

  • My Parents Are Crazier Than Yours

    Love your blog. And especially your pictures!!