Awash In A Sea Of Cubicles

randomlychad  —  September 9, 2011 — 8 Comments

Just a few short days ago, I was boogie boarding off the Southern California coast with my son, getting pounded by the surging surf.

Now I’m back here, awash in a sea of cubicles.

'Cubicle Panorama' photo (c) 2005, Kyle and Kelly Adams - license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

It never seems to matter how long, how good, how fun, or how restful a vacation is–the job slips back on like a comfortable pair of slippers.

Too comfortable, perhaps. It’s like I never left: I slip right back into the mold, disappear into my role(s). The workplace is chafingly restraining with regards to self-expression.

The highlight of my week? Getting to send my boss off to a new position with a brief humorous, heartfelt speech.

Maybe my age is showing, maybe I’m just less tolerant of the BS now? Once things for sure, as much as I hate to admit it (and thanks for this, Jon Acuff): there’s only one me.

What I mean is, as much as I’d wish to the contrary, the distinction between work-me and home-me is a false one–existing only in my head. And that’s a hard pill to swallow. Otherwise, I’m just playing a role, engaging in hypocrisy.

How about you? Do you have weeks like this?

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randomlychad

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Christ-follower, husband, dad, blogger, reader, writer, movie buff, introvert, desert-dweller, omnivore, gym rat. May, or may not, have a burgeoning collection of Darth Vader t-shirts. Can usually be found drinking protein shakes, playing with daughter, working out with his son, or hanging out with his wife. Makes a living playing with computers. Subscribe to RandomlyChad by Email

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  • Cindy Holman

    Is that REALLY your work space? Oh my. You need a cleaning lady or something 🙂

    • No, ma'am--it is not. That's a picture from Wylio.com. My actual workspace is bad, but not that level of bad. 🙂

  • i live there too man. feel your pain.

    • I know you do, and I feel yours. I know you know what it's like tofeel the pressure of being made for something more, and having tobalance that with the necessity of providing for a family. I don'twant to speak for you, but for me, it's not that I'm ungrateful--it'smore that, as the bureaucratic structure has grown more and moreponderous, I'm less and less convinced of the significance of what I'mdoing. I don't want to discount what the Lord can do through me here,it's just that I'm feeling more and more shackled in that regard aswell.It's confining, and demoralizing.

  • Oh, yes, I have weeks like this! Weeks where I know I should be giving my all to my job and responsibilities at home and the like . . . only to find myself squirreling away some time to work on dreams and 'bigger' things. Or just simply procrastinating with everything because I'm overwhelmed/stressed out by it all.

    • Michelle, I can identify with that. Wow!

  • ironicmom

    This is me in New-Agey-Speak: Disconnects are the worst. This is me in my own voice: That sucks. I hear you, but not at the same volume, I suspect. I love 80% of my job…as in look forward to it, feel like I can be "me", etc…I teach Grade 8 and 9 English. It's a private school, so I don't deal with a lot of problems (or — the problems I deal with are different). Still, it's rare that I look forward to returning to work. But for people who do that day in and out, who maybe enjoy 20% of their job. That sucks. Big time.

    May your weekend be grand. And next week better. 🙂

    • I would estimate that 20%--being a nice round figure--isn't at all far off the mark. 🙂 The customer interactions are indeed pleasant, but the organizational structure is bloated, top-heavy with procedures, policies, protocols, and politics, teetering under its own ponderous weight. Our processes are constantly under review, our budgets constrained, and I fear we may be getting squeezed out. All the interesting things--the cool “tech” (yes, I'm in IT)--have been, or are being, taken away. What we are left with is a lot of busy work. It still remains to be seen whether we--my little section--will be assimilated into the larger IT structure, or get reassigned hither and yon. Time will tell. And yes, I am indeed feeling disconnected, desperately trying to fall in like with a job I don't love (anymore).Yours as well! Thank-you!Perhaps Thing1 and Thing2 would like to visit Arizona?