P*ssy, Douche/Bag, & An Inherent Disregard for Women

randomlychad  —  August 8, 2011 — 16 Comments
'Pussy Drink' photo (c) 2010, Martin Pettitt - license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

Folks, I’ve been trying to work something out in my head for sometime now, but can’t quite place my finger on it (the issue–not my head).

This notion, abortive though it may be, is simply that I think the way language (at the very least, English) is often used shows an implicit disregard for women.

Here’s what I mean (and forgive me if this sounds vulgar): when someone calls a guy a “p*ssy,” what’s really being said? “You’re no better than a woman.” “You’re as weak as a woman.” As if it’s somehow bad to be a woman. As if women are somehow inherently weaker (oh, generally speaking, they may be physically smaller, but this does not necessarily equate to being “weaker”).

Let me give you another example, which stems from everyone’s favorite epithet du jour, “douche/bag.” Let’s think about this for a moment, shall we? When we call someone a douche, or douchebag, what are we saying? I mean logically, how can a person literally act like a douche? This, as is p*ssy, is a metaphorical insult. At its heart, it not only means that it’s somehow inherently bad to have a p*ssy, but that which emanates from there is somehow bad as well. (Which, if it’s the case, makes it all the more confusing that we men should expend so much time, effort, and energy to “get p*ssy”).

Last time I checked, all of us have mothers, and a great number of us (men) have wives. Are our mothers somehow weak, or our wives? After giving birth to us, and (perhaps) our children? There’s a great strength there that men do not possess. A certain endurance. Last time I checked, nary a man has ever given birth (yes, I say that tongue -in-cheek)–because our strengths lie elsewhere.

We–men and women–are designed to complement, and complete–one another. God created us–both genders–in His likeness, because neither could adequately reflect His image on their own (and we have enough trouble as it is).

I think it’s simply the case of women’s strengths being–because they’re different– misinterpreted (by men) as weaknesses. Which they most definitely are not.

I’m no expert, but at its heart, I think the culture of objectification –as much as it is insulting to women–is an affront to God. When we use the words “p*ssy,” and “douche/bag,” we’re saying something about the source and wellspring of life as we know it. We’re saying something, ultimately, about God.

My wife is always after me about my casual use of language, that I should be more cautious, more considerate.

I agree.

I think we need to rethink these things.

What do you think?




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Christ-follower, husband, dad, blogger, reader, writer, movie buff, introvert, desert-dweller, omnivore, gym rat. May, or may not, have a burgeoning collection of Darth Vader t-shirts. Can usually be found drinking protein shakes, playing with daughter, working out with his son, or hanging out with his wife. Makes a living playing with computers. Subscribe to RandomlyChad by Email

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  • Marla Abe

    I totally agree. Many of these comments are degrading to women. Somehow, men seem to fear being like women, when actually, they could just envy us. I gave birth and breastfed. So there.

    • Thank-you, ma'am! Appreciate the validation.

  • You've really hit on something that has always bothered me. Thank you for being the kind of guy to call it like it is.

    One that I hate is when people say that a person who is bold has "balls." I try to live boldly every day and am not dissuaded in the least by my lack of sporting equipment. 😉

    • Thanks much for your kind words! And thank-you for being who you, and calling it like it is.

  • JBen

    I have thought the same thing for a while. I never really took the metaphor as far as you did but you are right on. I prefer to say that someone has "guts" instead of balls. We all have guts. Great getting to meet you today!

    • Hey, thanks, man! It was a blast getting to meet someone from the “tribe!”(I admit that sometimes the filter gets a little broken, but I was pleased with how this post came out).

  • Wait, there is a beverage called p*ssy? Who drinks that? Gross. Great thoughts today!

    • Thanks so much, Rob! And yes, there really is such a beverage--I couldn't believe it, either.

  • I think your encouragement at the end to be more cautious and considerate is wise. We need to give our words time to process especially when engaging in the written word. Too much can be misconstrued to not be careful with our words.

    • That's for sure, sir! Thanks for your comment!

  • I think you are exactly right. As a woman, wife, mother, daughter, and sister, I abhor these terms and the implied weakness they represent. One of my daughters is a soccer player; as we walked the field to a game, one of her teammates, the goalie, was being warmed up by her dad. She threw the ball to him and he said, "You throw like a girl." I freaking hate that. I heard, and I told him we all take that as a compliment. He's telling his daughter, HIS DAUGHTER! that her throw was weak and unacceptable, all the while warming her up to be big and strong in a game. What is that about? Talk about mixed messages.

    I could go on and on…I won't.

    • Jennifer,Thanks for your thoughtful comment! There is far too much denigrationthat goes on. Anything I can do to make the world a better place, Iwill. I try to take--as I know you do--my cues from Jesus (who wentout of His way to esteem women).

  • Eleanorjane

    Hi Chad, great post and I fully agree with your sentiments.

    As an ex-English teacher, I do analyse words and images that I come across and insults like these have always rubbed me up the wrong way. I also tried very hard to explain to the teenagers I taught that using 'gay' as an insult or to mean 'bad/stupid' is very unhelpful to people around them who might be gay.

    But thinking further about it, there aren't many insults I can think of that pass the examination of my conscience..

    • Thank-you so much! My wife has gotten after me about some of my off the cuff remarks, and in light of that I'm trying to do more thinking through the weight that my words carry.

  • Thank you, thank you, thank you. For your words, for the point they make, and for being a man who respects women--and calls out those who show that they don’t. Bless you.

    • You’re very welcome! Thanks for reading!