Dear @pastormark: I Am One

randomlychad  —  July 13, 2011 — 6 Comments

I wasn’t going to comment on this. I really wasn’t. It being Wednesday–my day for mock “hate.”

But then I read Alise Wright’s insightful post on Why I Wrote A Letter To Mark Driscoll, and I remembered.

Alise writes of her son, and I remember being that kid. The one who, unlike his dad, wasn’t really any good at sports.

The one who would rather stay indoors to read, and dream.

The one who was called “gay” in junior high because he, unlike his dad, was awkward and shy around girls.

The one who didn’t have hair one on his chest when he married at age twenty-one.

Just because I was shy and awkward, doesn’t mean I’m any less masculine than the next guy. And although I’m officially on record as a hater of open letters, I couldn’t let this slide.

I have been bullied, slurred, and beaten for things that were not true of me.

And on my behalf, and those likewise treated, I say to you, Mark Driscoll, in the Name of Jesus:

Knock it the hell off!

Our God is not a God Who perpetuates stereotypes. Shame on you, as a minister of the Gospel, for dealing in such base tropes.

I could go on.

Were you ever bullied? How did you cope? Did you have parents, friends, family, that helped you through?




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Christ-follower, husband, dad, blogger, reader, writer, movie buff, introvert, desert-dweller, omnivore, gym rat. May, or may not, have a burgeoning collection of Darth Vader t-shirts. Can usually be found drinking protein shakes, playing with daughter, working out with his son, or hanging out with his wife. Makes a living playing with computers.Subscribe to RandomlyChad by Email

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  • Cindy Holman

    It was powerful -- I read both articles too. Wow. Thanks for sharing.

    • Cindy: thanks for reading! It's not a place I like to revisit, but in this case I had to.

  • Well said, my friend.

    I got some mild teasing because I've always been a bit of an original (imagine!), but very little. But the first time my son told me he was called gay by someone, I cried more than he did (though later and away from him). Not because I think anything about him being gay, but because I know that's not what they meant. They meant that he didn't measure up, and THAT makes me sad. And it's what makes me sad about this situation. I would really love to see Mark understand what comments like this do.

    • Thank-you, Alise!I got that message loud and clear from my dad growing up (when he wasthere): that I didn't measure up. I've spent a lifetime sincecombating the projection of that vibe (because people pick up on it).Isn't it just like God to attach me at the hip to a strong-willedItalian woman? ;-)Thanks for your post!

  • projectmathetes

    I reckon all of this would not be so offensive to some f there wasn't truth to it. No one gets this angry at a lie.

    My issue is with the reaction to the word "effeminate". Does this automatically mean 'homosexual man'? Am I to understand or believe that all homosexual men act like women? Isn't that a stereotype some of you are purporting? Effeminate, to me, implies a man who simply has feminine traits. Big deal. I now chicks who act like guys, but are heterosexual.

    If effeminate is to solely be used to attach to a homosexual man, then shame on anyone who would believe this or push this mindset.

    I highly doubt this Driscoll fella was implying that effeminate worship leaders, (yeah, we've never seen that before! oh the horror! the cruel judgment!), are homosexuals by virtue of their effeminism. (dang, is that even a word?)

    Much ado about nothing, really. Next week something else will get sensitives and their panties into a bunch. So it goes.

  • projectmathetes


    I was not seeking to marginalize your past experiences, and I apologize if I came across that way.

    My issue is with the reaction to the word effeminate. Like I said, I take it to mean a man who acts like a woman or has womanly traits. This is not implying homosexuality or a sin or anything.

    So when Driscoll used that word and attached it to a "worship leader" (still haven't found that position in the New Testament), I knew exactly what he meant. I have seen many, MANY, worship leaders who were men who flitted about and acted effeminate. Big deal.

    And as a pastor, he should know better? Seriously? How high of a pedestal do you put pastors, Chad? Is it a title or a verb? Does one become a Pastor or does one pastor? Driscoll is one of many who are flawed and have been tainted by this rock star status given to him because he's "edgy, controversial, relevant, cool". Fah. I've heard better wisdom from elderly folks working in soup kitchens.