Good afternoon! Welcome again to the new (I was going to say improved, but it’s a work in progress) Internet home of RandomlyChad.
Today being Wednesday, it’s time for another edition of Random Wednesday Haterade. Today’s victim is none other than Matt Cannon, who I’m sure you know as the @seekingpastor.
What’s he seeking? No one really knows for sure. 😉 Maybe, like Bono, he still hasn’t found what he’s looking for. 😉 But I digress.
You came here expecting some “hate,” and intend to give it to you. Without further ado, here are the six reasons I “hate” @seekingpastor:
1) Long after most of us have gone to bed, Matt is up, crafting his top-shelf posts, commenting on other blogs. Somehow, as a busy husband and father (of five), he finds time for his Pen to Keep Writing. Like the Energizer bunny, nothing outlasts this 6’7″ blogging behemoth. Surely that deserves a little “hate,” right?
2) Not only that, but he also knows the importance, in the face of a busy, bivocational life (yes, he’s a pastor, and holds down a 9-to-5), of Holding onto His Dreams. How he finds the time to pursue them I don’t know, but he does. Surely you can see why, in the light of his strong sense of self, you can see why I “hate” him so much? You can’t? Well perhaps this will convince you:
3) Did I mention he’s a pastor? That’s right: Matt’s the pastor of Stoney Point Baptist Church in beautiful Knoxville, TN. And, darn it all, he’s funny! That’s right: the man is a funny. Baptist. Pastor. Look no further than one of his weekly Caption Contests to see what I mean. I mean who else would think to take a picture in a bathroom stall? And turn it into a hilarious post? Mr. Baptist Pastor, that’s who! I hope you’re starting to see just why I “hate” Matt so much. If not, there’s:
4) He’s so big that, when he asks you for the severed head of anything, you are compelled to deliver (lest the head be yours); to wit: here we see his poor daughter holding the severed head of Dora, the Explorer. What can I say? They train ’em for war young in Clan Cannon. ;-)(Actually, I’m not gonna lie: that he hates Dora so actually makes me love Matt–a little. Not sure how this one got on the list). Anyway…
5) Matt knows just how White & Nerdy he really is–and he has the audacity to embrace it! In fact, while everyone else was getting ready for the end of the world, Matt was preparing for the AlPocalypse. Yes, that’s right ladies and gentlemen, this gentle giant of a Baptist pastor is a huge Weird Al fan! Can you believe it? And if that wasn’t enough:
6) Matt has always been extremely kind, generous with his online time, and has always left thoughtful, encouraging comments on certain random blogger’s site.
So I’m sure, by now, you can see why I “hate” him, right?
If you can, please join him in Defeating Team Goliath.
Thanks for reading! Peace out.
Hey, lest I forget, how do you “hate” Matt? Share in the comments.