What’s Sweeter Than The Release of Making It To The Urinal Just In Time

randomlychad  —  July 29, 2011 — 7 Comments

So my buddy Bryan Allain tweeted the following today:

“I challenge you to name me 10 better feelings than those few seconds after making it to the urinal just in time. You can’t.”

'Gold top 10 winner' photo (c) 2007, Sam Churchill - license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

To which I replied “It’s on.” Because, you know, when someone throws down like that you gotta rise to the challenge!

Am I right?

The list that follows is my attempt to run Bryan’s gauntlet. Or yank his chain. 😉

#10 Just making it to the toilet (after eating too much Taco Bell).

#9 Just making it with your kid when they “can’t hold it anymore.”

#8 Finally getting that bamboo sliver out from under your fingernail.

#7 The moments after the doctor lances that painful boil on your backside–sweet release!

#6 When the scope is finally retracted following a colonoscopy.

#5 At the last moment, deciding against getting collagen-enhanced lips (Meg Ryan missed out on this one. Can I get a “trout pout?”).

#4 Richard Gere. Gerbil.

#3 Finally releasing the last of the air your colon was pumped with during your colonoscopy. (While listening to Spinal Tap’s “Break Like the Wind”).

#2 Those few fleeting seconds after the circus elephant has gotten off your foot (before feeling returns).

#1 Bet you thought this was gonna be orgasm, didn’t you? Those feel pretty good, but you know what feels better? Halting the nasal assault of your infant child’s stuffed Diaper Genie of stink! (Besides, who feels sexy when your house smells like toxic sludge?).

That’s my list. Watchoo got?
(And watchoo got, Bryan? Bring it!)

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randomlychad

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Christ-follower, husband, dad, blogger, reader, writer, movie buff, introvert, desert-dweller, omnivore, gym rat. May, or may not, have a burgeoning collection of Darth Vader t-shirts. Can usually be found drinking protein shakes, playing with daughter, working out with his son, or hanging out with his wife. Makes a living playing with computers. Subscribe to RandomlyChad by Email

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  • JBen

    Wow. You totally threw down on this one. And I am sufficiently grossed out. Nice "lemmiwinks" reference.

    • Well, thank-you, sir! We “aim” to please. Or something. ;)Confession: I had to look up “lemmiwinks.” I've seen South Park. True.

  • jmonsewicz

    Finally getting that piece of "gold" in your nose that's been bugging you for hours.

    • Eww! That's gross!

  • Every thing I do on the planet is sweeter than the urinal since I'm all girlie and such. I've actually never even come close to anything on your list. And I'm starting a new list to try and avoid them at all costs.

    • I know, I know--“Sugar and spice and everything nice,” right? That's what girls are made of.I don't know if you've children, or not, but if you do (or someday do), believe me, you'll either attain, or come precariously close, to something on my list. 😉

  • Well put, sir, well put. I’ll crteainly make note of that.