Since I began regularly blogging last October, I have learned an essential truth: “if you build it, [they] will come” is a great tagline for the movies, but seldom works out as well in real life. How many millions out there are like me, toiling in relative obscurity? How many of us are there in what Jon Acuff calls the “I’m but” generation? As in “I’m a mild-mannered computer tech by day, but I really want to write.” Yeah, that’s me. That’s my dream. But my reality is that I have a family to support, and have largely sacrificed the dream on the altar of necessity.
So I have a “real” job that pays the very real bills. So I show up day-in-and-day-out, do the work. And I love my customers, love helping them resolve technology-related problems. I’m very thankful for the job I have.
But heart–my “true heart,” the real me–is more here, on this blog. It’s a hobby that I hope becomes something more someday. Listen: I know I’m truly blessed to be in such a position, namely to have a job (that pays the bills), and the luxury of a hobby that I love.
It’s that love that makes it hurt so much sometimes. What I mean is that, and maybe this is an unreasonable expectation, I bust my balls to come up with (what I think) is compelling content, but have precious few readers. (Those that do read: thank-you very much! I appreciate every single one of you). I know there are literally tons and tons of blogs vying for attention. I just wish I could get more…
Then I remember that “if you build it, [they] will come” is just for the movies. Real life is something else. And truth be told: I don’t write for you primarily, I write first for me. And I don’t know the first thing about growing an audience, about what that takes. But I do know how to show up, do the work, write authentically. All I can do is hope that you join me.
In the meantime, I continue to follow the advice of Charles Williams, who said that “The altar must often be built in one place in order that the fire from heaven may descend somewhere else.” The fire may not–indeed, may never–fall here, but at least I have been faithful to do what I feel I’m supposed to: I’m building my “altars.”
How about you? Are you building yours?
Thank-you for reading!