It’s going on nearly five years now, but when our daughter was an infant (our son was then eight), and we couldn’t get a sitter (translation: a free sitter, or my in-laws weren’t available), my wife and I thought it would be fun to take the kids to the drive-in for a movie.
Barnyard, which seemed family-friendly enough, was paired with Nacho Libre, about which we didn’t really know much (but, having Jack Black, it looked funny).
Barnyard, of course, came on first. The only thing I recall was wondering why the boy cows had udders? “That’s strange,” I thought, but then–doh!–remembered it was a cartoon: the normal rules of logic need not apply. So I went with it, and I guess my wife did, too–right off to la-la land.
I can tell you this: the sequence of events from that night is somewhat hazy, but I know at some point I glanced at the screen next to ours. And was greeted with “udders” of another sort, or what I can only call ‘Attack of the 50-Foot Boobs’–otherwise known as Snakes On A Plane.
Why in the cosmic order of things I happened to glance over at that moment I’ll never know. What I said was “Son, look straight ahead. Don’t look to your right.” He being eight at the time–and not twelvety-eight–complied. Thank-you, Jesus! And… crisis averted.
(But you know what? I guess drive-in logic is much like the udders on the male cows in Barnyard: the normal rules need not apply. Put the kid-flick next to the skin-flick. “Udderly” ridiculous, right? Ok, bad pun–I know. No tittering).
With it safe to watch our movie again, I dozed back off. My wife and baby were sleeping, too. I think our son was the only one who saw all of Barnyard. At least I think so. Because when Nacho Libre finally came on, he was sleeping!
I wanted to stay for “Nacho,” but my wife woke up, said she was tired, and both the kids were sleeping. So we left.
And to this day, I still haven’t seen Nacho Libre.
If there’s a lesson from that night, I suppose it’s this: “be careful little eyes what you see.” Or one set of “udders” is definitely not like another! 😉