>My Only Claim to Fame: the Roots of My Douchebaggery #FreedomFriday

randomlychad  —  December 17, 2010 — Leave a comment

> No one has come right out and said it–oh, they’ve come close–but I’ve been accused of being an attention whore. If I’m honest at all, there is some truth to the assertions. Maybe I just don’t get social media, but I thought one of purposes of Twitter, for instance, was to bring a certain amount of attention to oneself? If not myself, then at least what I’ve been working on. Yes, I admit I’ve done stupid things to get attention. Some of it was deliberate insincerity–where I didn’t expect to be taken seriously, and was–and others were just blatant attention-grabs. If what I do here on the blog for Freedom Friday is for any purpose at all, it’s for this: to peel back the layers and be real. Please don’t misunderstand what I’m about to say–I’m not assigning blame–but this character defect of mine has its roots, I think, in not having a meaningful relationship with dad growing up. Again, I’m not blaming him, nor am I holding him accountable for my stupid choices. I just think that missing out on his attention, and affection, in my early life (and teen years) had a negative influence on my character. I overcompensate, and look for the attention I’m never going to have from him in other quarters. It’s sad, but true. I don’t want to have this defect. If you pray for me at all, please pray for this. I want freedom from it.

Please note: in learning about my dad’s upbringing, I would be less than gracious if I didn’t say that I’m impressed that he did as well as he did for as long as he did. But like Yeats’ poem, “things fall apart, the center cannot hold.” Dad didn’t, and still doesn’t, have Jesus in his life. And I fear I’ve been more of a hindrance than a help in that regard. Please pray for that as well–that he would find Jesus, and that I would live a life of a convincing witness.

Thanks for your time in reading–I appreciate it. I’ll leave you with this: how’s your relationship with your dad? And for you dads: how are you doing as a dad?

PS: I forgot that I’d titled this post “My Only Claim to Fame.” You wanna know what that is? It’s not my mad writing skillz–no, it’s the simple fact that I’m the only blogger that I know of with a bigger schoz than Bryan Allain. Now put that in your pipe and smoke it! 😉

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randomlychad

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Christ-follower, husband, dad, blogger, reader, writer, movie buff, introvert, desert-dweller, omnivore, gym rat. May, or may not, have a burgeoning collection of Darth Vader t-shirts. Can usually be found drinking protein shakes, playing with daughter, working out with his son, or hanging out with his wife. Makes a living playing with computers. Subscribe to RandomlyChad by Email

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