>Faith is my thin place

randomlychad  —  February 12, 2010 — 3 Comments

>If asked I would tell you that I have been a Christian for nearly twenty-two years; in all that time, I don’t know that I’ve ever truly believed that God loves me. How messed up is that? How can I give away what I don’t believe? Donald Miller said that, at one time, he didn’t like God because “God doesn’t resolve.” Well, for me, faith doesn’t resolve (maybe this is the same thing). The truth of this was impressed upon me not ten minutes ago. A truly terrible movie, Cutthroat Island, was on. There’s a scene where Matthew Modine’s character is rapidly sinking into quicksand, and Geena Davis’ character, arguably from a place of strength, seeks to secure something from him (before she’ll agree to help him out of his predicament). He says he’d feel much better discussing this from solid ground. In that moment, it was like I was the man in quicksand, and Geena Davis was God. And instead of giving over, I’d rather debate the merits of my very rational (to me) fear than be saved. How messed up is that? Almost as if I expect Him to argue me into belief. For most of the last twenty-two years, I have approached Him with Whom I have to do with the wrong kind of fear, seeking assurances He never promised to give. Is it any wonder that He hasn’t used me to lead someone to Him? Because, again, how can I give away something I don’t have? All of this, from a late night movie.

Comments

comments

randomlychad

Posts Twitter Facebook

Christ-follower, husband, dad, blogger, reader, writer, movie buff, introvert, desert-dweller, omnivore, gym rat. May, or may not, have a burgeoning collection of Darth Vader t-shirts. Can usually be found drinking protein shakes, playing with daughter, working out with his son, or hanging out with his wife. Makes a living playing with computers. Subscribe to RandomlyChad by Email

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 2,963 other subscribers

  • Mary DeMuth

    >Wow, isn't it cool that God uses everything, including late night movies, to speak to us?

  • Gandalf

    >Very cool! And very scary. He's got me dead to rights. And how do you argue with the inscrutable, immutable God of all that ever was, is, and will be? I repent in dust and ashes for being the fearful man that I am. How does that verse go? "Lord, I believe, help Thou my unbelief."

  • Your awnser was just what I needed. It’s made my day!